Sneezes on Set
a Pirates of the Caribbean (RP) story
by Tina
Orlando Bloom opened the door to the large location trailer to wait there until he was needed for his next scene. He shivered, feeling chilled as the cool air from the air conditioning hit him. He shook his head and rolled his eyes, thinking that there he was on a tropical island and he was chilled from an air conditioner. I'm as bad as my grandmother, he thought pulling the door closed behind him.
He noticed that his co-star Johnny Depp was already in the trailer. He was at the near end of the large couch before him, in full pirate costume, his feet propped up on the coffee table, leaning straight back on the couch with his eyes closed. A box of tissues sat beside him on an end table, and a small wastebasket on the floor was almost overflowing with used tissues.
Johnny clearly was not feeling well, but then, Orlando thought, he definitely was not the only one. At that moment, the fierce tickle that had been plaguing his nose all morning, returned with a vengeance. He barely had time to raise his hands to cover his mouth before the sneezes hit, each so strong they nearly bent him in half. "ETCHOOOOOOO!!!!! EhhhhCHOOOOOO!!!! AHCHOOOO!!!! ETCHHHHHH!!!!" He made his way to the opposite end of the couch and sat heavily, sniffling wetly.
Johnny opened his eyes and looked at him sympathetically. "You caught this thing too huh?" He asked as he passed Orlando the box of tissues.
Orlando nodded as he grabbed a handful of tissues and blew his nose forcefully. He dropped the tissued in the wastebasket as Johnny pushed it over with his foot. "I think you pretty much assured that when you sneezed in my face the other day." He answered as he grabbed another handful of tissues to finish he job.
Johnny cringed, "I am sorry about that you know, it was totally accidental."
"I know, I'll try not to hold it against you. " Orlando grinned as he dropped the rest of the tissues in the trash.
"Well, it you want to blame someone, you really should blame the children." Johnny added, rubbing at his nose.
"But I don't have any children."Orlando replied leaning back on his side into the corner of the couch, not really as concerned as he should be about wrinkling his costume.
"Not yours, mine." Johnny started, pausing to sneeze, " Hehhhhchoooo!!! EhhhCHOOOO!"
"Bless you." Orlando pushed the tissue box back to the opposite end of the couch and Johnny helped himself to a large wad.
"I flew home last weekend and they were both sick." He blew his nose with a wet gurgling blow and then groaned. "Ughhhhhh."
"Yeah, but they didn't sneeze on me, you did."
"Well, yes, but if they hadn't been sick and sneezed on me ,thus getting me sick, then I....... Heshhhhhhh."
"You wouldn't have been able to do the same to me?" Orlando asked smiling slightly as Johnny nodded while blowing his nose once again.
"Exactly, I'm so glad you understand." Johnny returned the smile, and then added a bit sheepishly, "I really am sorry though..."
Orlando waved away his apology, "It's fine, just remind me not to have any children."
"Will do mate." Johnny replied. "Are you feeling really terrible?"
"No, not really," Orlando shook his head. "I'm really congested, and I've been sneezing all morning, but I don't really feel that sick..."
"Oh, you will. Sorry to tell you, but things will only get worse."
"Aren't you the bearer of good news." Orlando smiled once again.
"That I am," Johnny grinned back. "It's my speciality, I spread good news, well that and germs I guess."
The was a sudden knocking on the door and a young assistant poked her head into the trailer. "Mr Depp, Mr Bloom, they're ready for you now."
Johnny groaned and pulled himself to his feet offering a hand to Orlando. He put his arm around the younger man's shoulder as they made their way to the door. "Come along young Orlando, we'll make it through this together."
Orlando allowed himself to be led along, but pulled away suddenly as the reached the door. "EhhhhhChooooo!!! ETCHOOOO!!! Ahhh choooo!!!!" He sneezed forcefully into his hands. Johnny left him there for a minute to retrieve the tissue box that was left on the couch. He offered the box to Orlando, who nodded his thanks and took another handful of tissues to contain the sneezes that continued as they exited the trailer and walked to the set, the tissue box securely between them.
Wrote this after seeing the second POC movie.. Disclaimers : Orlando and Johnny are real, and unfortunately not mine (if only they were....) none of this story is real.