Stranded
a Pirates of the Caribbean story
by tarotgal
"I don't care how ironic it is," Will hissed, grabbing the bandana from Jack's hand and running it under his nose. "I just want off this island now."
"They'll be back for us," Jack reassured him. His dark eyes twinkled past their dark kohl outlines. "It's just a joke." He threw his arms up in a stretch, then fell back against the sand. The sun's warm rays settled against his cheeks, making him feel sleepy and making him close his eyes. His arms already raised, his hands locked beneath his head, elbows out to the side.
"Yes and while I didn't find it funny at the time, I certainly don't now either. Of all the islands on which they could have put us off, they have to pick the one that..." His words faded as a look crept upon his face. His body tightened and eyes closed. "Not... 'gain..." he gasped, bringing the bandana up to his nose with a trembling hand. "hihKshhh! ihhKshhh! hihSHhhh! ihhhKshhhh! ehhhKshhh! Hih...hihIHHShhhh!" The last in each series always seemed to be the strongest for some reason. And he was always somewhat relieved when it came, for it meant the sneezes were over for the moment. Though as long as he remained on the island, he knew they wouldn't be over for good. Will sniffed hard, his eyes soft and weary. "They just happened to pick an island that makes me sneeze," he finished.
In truth, it was one of the plants on the island. An hour and a half of exploring and experimenting had taught them that much. And once Will had started sneezing from it, he hadn't been able to stop for any extended period of time. Slightly more sympathetic than Will had expected him to be, Jack had dug up all the offending plants from the general vicinity, allowing them a spot to sit in while they waited for rescue where Will was able to at least catch his breath between fits of sneezing.
Will leaned back against their rowboat with a sigh. They really had no choice but to wait for rescue, and trust that the crew of The Pearl did indeed intend this to be a joke and not the mutiny and desertion that it could be labeled. For he and Jack were many days from the mainland and they'd never be able to reach it in the small rowboat, especially if they met bad weather or a Royal Navy ship along the way. The rowboat was intact, and they had two oars, but that didn't mean much when facing a rough sea or an enemy. No, even though it caused Will and his nose much distress, there was really nothing to do except hope The Black Pearl found them in a timely fashion.
"They probably think we're having the time of our lives and want to give us a few more minutes to get the job done properly so they don't interrupt again," Jack said sleepily. The warmth of the sand and sun were never lost on him. "They just didn't know they were putting us down near an island that just so happens to makes you sneeze." Will usually watched Jack's hands as he spoke as they swished around in mid-air, making his point sometimes better than his words did.
Will rolled his eyes. "If they knew everything, they'd not have bothered giving us this much time. You don't really take your time."
"Is that supposed to be an insult?" Jack asked, glaring over at Will.
Will shrugged. "Well, you must admit, you can be pretty fast."
Jack laughed and rolled over, reaching out to Will. "Only when I must be, my young-"
"HIHShhh! ihhKShhhh! ihhKShhh! hihShhhh! hihKshihhhh! Hehhshhh! HehShhh! hihIHHHShhhh!" Will rolled his eyes, snuffling into the bandana and rubbing his nose with it. He batted Jack away. After Jack had been elbow and knee-deep in the plants, he'd smelled of them as well, and couldn't get near Will without the younger man bursting with sneezes.
Jack laughed again and rolled back onto his back with a sigh. "Just relax, Lad. And before you know it, they'll be back for us."
"And what if they aren't?" Will snapped. He'd never been stranded on a deserted island before, and the romantic, piratey image was nothing like this was turning out to be. "We've no shelter. No fire-"
"Could be worse, aye? Not cold or wet," Jack pointed out. "No need for either of those yet."
"-no food, no fresh water, and no gun even."
"Well, that last one shows that they'll be back for us, doesn't it now?" Jack reasoned, closing his eyes and relaxing against the sand. He slid his hat down over his face, intending to get a bit of sleep while they waited.
"But they don't even know where we drifted to in the rowboat. They could be a long way off still," Will pointed out, aggravated by Jack's normal laid back attitude.
"Nah, they'll find us once they've had their laugh and the shock dies away. Just sit tight and relax while we wait, savvy?"
"Wish I could be even remotely as confident about, sniff, that as you seem to be," Will replied. He grumbled and rubbed at his nose. It was obviously tickling again. He swept his brown hair back out of his face and readied the bandana again for more abuse, glad at least to have it now that his own handkerchief was beyond use. "ihhhHIHShhh! hehKshhh! ihhhKshhh!" He was thrown forward with each, the pattern of breathing and motion making him a little lightheaded and a little more than a little miserable. "hihKshhh! hehKKShhh! ihhhChishhhh! hehCHUHSHHH!" He rubbed, annoyed, at his nose. "My nose is being far too bothersome to believe in much. I just wish we weren't here," he complained.
Beneath his hat, Jack gave a great grin. "Well then, we'll just have to think twice about having sex in the rowboat in the future, won't we?"
These lads are not mine. Never were. And I don't make money from this. Inspired by week #2's bunny in the sneezefic weekly hatching. Exactly 1000 words long.