The Scent of a Screech
a Saved by the Bell story
by Symphonyflute
"Screech, do we really have to do this?" Zack Morris complained as he and his friend walked through the cologne and perfume section of the local mall`s cosmetics store.
"Of course we do," Screech said. "The dance is only four days away, and Lisa still hasn't agreed to go with me yet."
"I don't think she'll go with you no matter how good you smell," Zack smirked.
Screech rolled his eyes at him. "Of course she won't. But when we're at the dance and all the girls are falling all over themselves to get close to me, she'll be so jealous she won't be able to so much as look at another man again."
Zack smirked. "Right,, how silly of me not to see it."
"Why are you guys in the babe store?" Slater asked as he approached his friends in surprise.
"Looking for cologne for Screech," Zack responded. "What are you doing here?"
"Shopping for babes," Slater said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Zack gave him a cheeky grin. "Does this mean you've finally excepted that Kelly is going to go to the dance with me?"
"No," Slater glared at him. "It means the dance isn't until Friday and I want some fun before that."
"Stop arguing," Screech told them. He held out a bottle. "What do you think of this?"
Zack sniffed the cologne. "I think the only girls you'll attract with this need walkers to get to the dance."
"So you don't like it?"
Zack sighed. "No Screech, I don't like it. Can we hurry this up? We've been here an hour."
"I have to find the perfect one," Screech told him patiently. "And you know; instead of complaining, you could try to find something yourself. You know, in case Kelly decides to go with Slater."
"She's not going with Slater." Zack shook his head fervently. "She's not."
"Alright already. Sheesh." Screech gave him a reproachful look. "I was just trying to be helpful."
Slater snickered at Screech's hurt puppy look, like he did when Screech had it from Lisa rejecting him, but it made Zack feel bad for being so curt. He picked up the first cologne bottle he saw and took a deep whiff. "Happy nuh...na..."
"Zack are you o-"
"Hetchoo! Atchoo! KaEtschh! Hatchoo! Etschuu!"
"Bless you," Screech piped up.
"Thanks," Zack replied, rubbing his nose as it continued to prickle uncomfortably. "Can we get out of here now?"
"Yeah," Screech agreed. "You should probably get some fresh air. Bye Slater."
"G'bye," Slater mumbled, not really listening, as he studied the bottle of cologne curiously.
"So who are you going with, Zack or Slater?" Lisa asked at the Max.
"I don't know," Kelly groaned. "And the dance is tomorrow!"
"Well who asked first?" Jessie asked sensibly.
"They asked at the same time. Literally. They both ran up to me and asked me simultaneously."
"That's a very Zack and Slater thing to do," Lisa giggled.
"Doesn't help though, does it?" Jessie asked sympathetically.
"Hello ladies," Slater greeted smoothly as he slid into the booth next to Lisa, who obediently scooted over for him. "Not talking about me I hope?"
"Oh get over yourself," Jessie snapped.
"Slater? Get over himself? Don't make me laugh." Zack grabbed a chair and planted himself at the head of the table. "Slater getting over himself would be like Lisa giving up shopping."
"Which we all know she'd never do," added Screech from the next table, leaning over so he was beside Lisa and Slater. "She likes to dress nice for me."
Kelly bit back a laugh at Lisa's disgusted expression. "I don't think Slater's that full of himself," she told them. Zack snorted, and Kelly added "And I don't think you're that troublesome."
"Then you don't know me at all," Zack feigned horror. "Hey, id anyone wearing perfume or something?"
Everyone shook their heads. "Why do you ask?" Jessie questioned.
"I just feel like I have to...to...Hetchoo! Atchoo! HaKetschh! HaAtchuu!"
"Bless you," Kelly said kindly. "Are you ok?"
Zack nodded and flashed her his most charming grin, but the intense itch grated his sinuses, erasing the smile from his face and forcing him to continue sneezing. "Katschhh! HaKetchoo! Hetchoo!"
"You don't have a fever," Kelly murmured, resting her palm against his cool forehead.
"I feel fine," he insisted, "except for this stupid sneezing. Hetchoo!"
"You really don't sound so good Preppy," Slater stated. "Must be a cold. You should probably go home and rest, and not even think about tomorrow's dance."
Zack glared at him suspiciously. "Why do you suddenly care about my well-being?"
Slater gave him a innocent look. "Is it a crime to worry about my friends?"
"You smell really good," Screech announced to Slater randomly.
"Um, thank you?" Slater shifted a little away from Screech uncomfortably. Zack felt the tickle start up again as strong as ever when Slater moved closer to him.
"Hetchoo! Atchoo! HaKetschh!" He groaned and leaned back in his chair, feeling relief as soon as he was away from the table. Immediately, it clicked.
"You are such a jerk!" He accused, standing up and taking a few steps away from the table. "Why would you do this?"
The girls and Screech looked from Zack to Slater and back to Zack, not quite seeing what was going on. "Did we miss something?" Jessie asked.
"Yeah, you missed the part where Slater purposely wore cologne he knew I was allergic to." Zack told her.
"Slater, is that true?" Kelly asked.
"No," he answered immediately. "How was I supposed to know he was allergic?"
"Because you were at the store with us," Screech supplied.
"Thank you Screech," Slater groaned. Kelly raised her eyebrows expectantly. "Fine, I did," he admitted. "But just to get him out of the way so you'd go to the dance with me and have fun. So I did it for you."
"Kelly gave him a disgusted look. "Get over yourself," she snarled. She climbed out of the booth and grabbed Zack's arm. "Let's get out of here," she said. "You can probably use the fresh air, and I can tell you about the dress I'm wearing to the dance with you tomorrow."
"Ah, young love," Screech sighed happily as they exited the Max. "Doesn't it just make you want to-"
"No," Lisa said.
"I didn't even say what you want to do yet," he reminded her.
"Doesn't matter, I don't want to do it." She nudged Slater to get him to move and stood up too. "I'm going shopping," she announced.
I don't own Saved by the Bell. I was very small when it was very big. There's a dance. Who will Kelly choose, Slater or Zack?