The Poisoner's Lament
a Harry Potter story
by sharondownonthefarm

"What about indigo? I think you should give me a discount, Fred, being that I'm your sister and all, and because when I dye my Potions Professor all the colours of the rainbow, I want all the colours, you prat! Besides, maybe Snape will kill me quickly and without pain if I at least poison him with a good potion.

"Ginny, we told you these are a work in progress. And you shouldn't have made the bet if you weren't prepared to pay the price. Look, if they expel you, you can come work for us.

"If Snape has me expelled, rather than killed, you know Mom will finish the job for him."

"True. We'll mourn for you. Now do you want the potion or not?"

"I've got to have it, haven't I, but I can't believe you are making me pay for this."

"What possessed you to bet against George at Wizard Chess, anyhow? You know no one ever beats him, not even Ron. Not even me."

"I thought I was finally going to win, you stupid git. Why else?"

"George hasn't told me what you were going to make him do if you won."

"He had to tell Professor Lupin he was in love with him."

"That's not much compared to you having to poison Snape."

"He had to tell him during dinner in the Great Hall. Naked. With "I love Remus" in bright red letters across his arse."

Fred laughed. "Now that would have been worth seeing. Ok, I'll take four knuts off as a special discount for being my only younger sibling with a decent sense of humor."

"Thanks, Fred. Say 'hi' to Angelina for me."

Ginny smiled a bit sickly as she took the potion, clearly considering her fate, but departed with her customary mischievous grin. Fred gave her back a fond look he would never have offered her front. She really was the best of the younger group of siblings. Bill and Charlie were so much older that they were separate - both completely out of Hogwarts before Percy even came in. Percy wasn't worth mentioning, the disgusting prig, and Ron spent too much time being heroic and trying to impress sea-green incorruptable Hermione. No, Ginny was their favorite - and she was well on her way to doing their name honor as Hogwarts' best troublemaker.

The gargoyle over the door growled, and Fred turned to see George, blushing red as his hair and grinning, come through the door. Neither needed to say a thing - both knew the vision of George buck naked, Remus Lupin's name tatooed in magic across his arse was something that Fred would do his best to bring to fruition. George grinned and put his arm around his brother. No quarter asked or given - neither would respect anything else.

It had taken her the better part of three days, but Ginny finally found a way to administer the potion. She knew better than to slip it into a drink or try and get it past the potions master that way - he'd detect the herbs instantly, if he didn't catch her in the act. Something about hanging around with Death Eaters made Snape seem a suspicious fellow. Finally it had occurred to her that Snape must routinely tests lots of potions - all she has to do is find a potion with similar enough ingredients that he'd be likely to taste, substitute this one, and who knows, she might not even get the blame for it.

The Hufflepuff fourth years are doing antidotes, and according to George (not something that Ginny entirely trusts, but she's good enough at potions to know that he's probably not lying...much) the antidote to the serpente potion has some similar ingredients. Her biggest problem is that she feels rather bad about this. She wouldn't admit it to anyone else - especially not Harry, who blame Snape for nearly everything from Sirius's death to his hair sticking up funny and is really impressed that she's going to poison the poisoner, but she kind of likes Snape. He's mean to her, of course, because she's a Weasley, and a Gryffindor, and she makes trouble, but strangely, she admires him. She knows a lot more than most of her classmates, or even Ron and Harry about what he does for the Order, since she kept her own set of extendable ears, and she's rather used to people trying to get a rise out of her - she did grow up with six older brothers. She even identifies with him a little. Ginny also did some terrible things once, and while she wasn't entirely in control of herself, she was attracted to the darkness of that diary. She has occasionally wished she could ask him how it is that you stop feeling ashamed of yourself for your prior actions and get on with redemption and ordinary life. Although when she thinks about the life Snape seems to lead, she's not sure she'd take a bet that he actually knows.

But honor is honor, and pranks are pranks, and you can't get out of a bet with an older brother by saying you respect the greasy-haired, big-nosed Head of Slytherin House, not if you are a Gryffindor. Not if you don't want something extremely unpleasant that your brother happens to know about you to be revealed, say, to the object of your affections who shall remain nameless, even though everyone knows who he is by that scar on his face.

And it is fun, of course. Making trouble has its own special beauty. And Snape has taken points off of her and Ron for no apparent reason other than being Harry's friend. And he does have greasy hair and a big nose. If she works at it, thinks about all the dark sarcasm, even though sometimes she listens to him and stores up snide comments of her own to reuse on her brother, she can even enjoy it - almost.

She isn't fool enough to let Snape know that she's been in his classroom. Instead, she bribes a Ravenclaw first-year to ask Snape a question, then sets off some dung bombs down in the Slytherin dungeon, races back (under Harry's borrowed invisibility cloak, enthusiastically loaned for the purpose) and slips in the door of the classroom just as Snape races out after that Malfoy twerp. She slips into the back room (the Ravenclaw thinks she's trying to retrieve a confiscated item - Snape has quite a collection of things taken from misbehaving students) and adds the potion to six of the 14 antidotes, so that no particular Hufflepuff will get any blame. She even manages to get out before Snape sweeps back into the classroom, muttering something about Gryffindors in the Slytherin hallways. And off she goes, with just a twinge of pity and regret, to tell Harry and Ron and Hermione (and Fred and George via floo) that she's done it. She won't be telling any of them that she feels bad, or that the Ravenclaw said later that Snape was really quite helpful with her homework. And it will probably be a while before she can walk by him and not blush the same orange-brown of her freckles.

"Professor Snape?!?! Really?!?

Minerva McGonagall sniffed impatiently at the potions students in front of her. "Professor Snape is ill today, too ill to take his classes. He informs me that you are working on Blue-Gill draughts. The instructions are on the board, so get to work.

Ginny is torn between guilt (the potion was just supposed to make him uncomfortable, not too sick to teach) and frustration that no one is going to get to see the results of her work. She hopes George will take McGonagall's word for it, and not make her do something like get proof.

She stops after class, "Is Professor Snape really all right?"

McGonagall raises her eyebrows and almost smiles. "I haven't seen him, he sent a message to the Headmaster. But I'm sure he'll be pleased that you expressed concern. It shows laudable inter-house spirit." Then she does smile at Ginny.

Ginny grins with a bravado she learned from George and Fred, and tries not to squirm too much inside.

On the second day that Snape is absent, Ginny admits to Harry that she feels bad about this, and that admires Snape a little. She says it is just because his sarcasm, though vicious, is even funnier than the twins's, which is not, in fact, the only reason. Harry is quiet for a very long time, and then tells her about the memory he saw when he was studying Occlumency with Snape the previous year. He doesn't go so far as to say that he felt bad for Snape, but Ginny suspects it is true.

That night she questions George about what the potion was supposed to do, questions she suspects she probably should have asked before agreeing to administer it. He swears that it was just supposed to turn Snape each of the colors of the rainbow (except indigo, and he said that the yellow was a little on the greenish side) in sequence for a few days. He doesn't want to give her an ingredients list, but after she points out that no one has seen Snape for two days and that McGonagall says he's too sick to teach, he does. Even George is starting to sound a little uncomfortable, although he clearly doesn't want to admit it. There is, he mentions, no antidote, but he (trying to sound offhanded) mentions that the store might want one, and that he should probably get to thinking about it. Not that it has anything to do with the Slimy git, who is probably just hiding out because he doesn't look good with Violet skin.

On the morning of the third day, when Snape doesn't appear at breakfast, and when the seventh year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs tell her that this time Binns took the class, she decides that she can't take it any more. Bet or no bet, she's got to come clean, and find someone to help make an antidote. She should go to Dumbledore or McGonagall, but she'd rather face Voldemort, really. She just can't stand the idea of standing in front of them and admitting that she poisoned a teacher, and probably prevented him from doing urgent Order work. She can't bear the idea that one of them, who forgave her for being possessed by Tom Riddle, might begin to believe that she didn't deserve to be forgiven, maybe that she really poisoned him because she is a Dark Witch... So she goes to the only teacher she can face right now.

Remus Lupin, Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, was surprised to see Ginny Weasley looking pale, peaky and nervous outside his door. He limped slightly on his way to pour the tea. Tea had a way, he'd found, of getting people to talk, maybe just because it was something you could do with your hands. Even Severus, given a cup of tea, would make something that faintly resembled civil conversation with him, with only intermittent sneers. And speaking of Severus, the story pours out of the girl.

Remus grow graver and graver as she speaks. She tells him what she did, and why (although not what George's end of the bet was, and he decides not to ask), and the rest rushes out too - how she wasn't thinking, and she didn't mean to hurt Professor Snape, and she really rather likes him, that his silent sarcasm taught her how to handle Fred and George's constant teasing, and that she's never been able to work up the nerve to ask him how he could live with himself after he'd been part of something Dark. And that she didn't take the comments about her hair personally, and she really didn't intend to hurt him, and that it wasn't the Hufflepuff's fault.

Lupin's face is stone by the end of her litany, and Ginny is crying a little. There's something strained in his tone. He lectures her for a good twenty minutes on respect for her teachers, how important Snape's role in the Order is, and on thinking for herself and not going along with her friends or her brothers (internally he's sighing and listing off in his head the number of times that he'd wished he'd paid the slightest attention to the advice he's currently giving, but that's old news), and how all that differentiates the good people from the Dark Wizards is that they believe that there are no justifications for the harm of others. And then, relenting a little (he's always hated being stern), he gently tells her that he's not worried that she's Dark or evil, and that he's going to go make sure Professor Snape is all right.

He makes her agree to apologize in person, to serve a week's detention with Professor Snape, and to do anything she can to help him recover. The punishments make her feel almost as much better as Lupin's sympathy and reassurance does, and he promises to let her know how the Potions master is after he goes to see him. That last makes her feel even better, although she's less than totally pleased when Lupin assures her that he too will tell the Potions Master that Ginny was worried about him. She has a reputation as a Weasley to consider, after all. But it seems like a bad time to say so, so she heads back to the Gryffindor common room to wait for word on Snape, heart slightly eased, and contemplating what she might do to get back at George.

"Severus?....Severus, I know you are there... Dobby, open the door up, and wait outside!"

Severus Snape lay asleep on the couch in his quarters, a pair of gold- rimmed spectacles pushed up on his head and a weighty volume labeled 'Materia Medica' on his chest. His face is softer when asleep, and he looks younger. His skin is its ordinary sallow cast. Two teacups and the remnants of last night's biscuits are sitting on the side table, just as they were the night before when Remus said good night. Snape opens his eyes, and a combination of surprise, anger and an odd sort of smile pass over him when he sees his fellow Professor there.

"Lupin, what the bloody hell are you doing in my quarters? Just because I consented to have tea with you last night does not give you the right to enter uninvited and bring your fleas with you." There is a pause. The sneer is back in place, and he clearly wants badly to say something awful. Instead he sneezes.

"Hrrrsssshcchhh! Hrrrrccccchhhhhhh! AhHarrrccccsccchshhh!" Despite his anger, Snape makes no effort to get off the couch, and he is clearly exhausted by the effort of sneezing. He blows his nose and looks irritatedly at Lupin over the handkerchief. He's flushed and shivering a little, and pulls the blanket up to him further.

"I thought you might want a bit more tea, Severus. Are you feeling any better?"

"Not much," Snape answers begrudgingly, forgetting to be annoyed at Remus. He sniffles and rubs his considerable nose, "What are you doing here?'

"I had a most intriguing conversation with Ginny Weasley this morning, that I think you'd like to hear about. It seems she believes that this cold you acquired from Order work is her fault."

A house elf, who might or might not have been within hearing range would later swear (if there was anyone to tell save Winky) that he heard a hoarse voice fading in and out of range say something like, "...kind of idiot thinks I actually poison myself and drink the potions....Weasleys!....damned werewolf." And there was definitely a noise, that sounded most like a bark of harsh laughter, joined by the softer laughter of another man, but might, in fact, have simply been another sneeze in a long sequence.

Ginny's heartfelt (mostly) apology was met by a blistering description of her intellect, heritage, potential and hair color, none of it flattering. Obscurely, the rising tide of anger made her feel a bit better about her own failings, and she had to bite back a few tart replies. She wondered idly if he realized that sometimes it was nicer to be yelled at than sympathized with. She did dare to bless him when he sneezed, and wondered if that was a lingering aftereffect, since Professor Lupin had been a little vague about what the potion actually had done to him. He snapped, "silence," sneezed again, and ordered her out.

The first four nights she did detention with Filch, then Hagrid (which was rather fun, although the big man did register his disapproval of her lack of respect for Snape), then McGonagall (which was not fun), and then Madame Pomfrey. The last night, she received no instructions, so she reported to Snape's classroom.

He looked rather healthier, although he was still sneezing and blowing his nose intermittently. He set glared at her for a minute or two, and then began explaining dryly how it is he actually tests the antidotes for poisons. He set her to diluting antidotes and titering them, explaining the process in a way that was rather interesting to her, and in a voice that forgot, at times, to be sarcastic when she asked him questions about the theory involved.

She worked for several hours, only slightly resenting that she wasn't with the others in the Red and Gold common room. After a while, Snape left her to her work, and she was startled when he returned after the requisite time, nodding coldly and noting that the job she'd done was only marginally incompetent. She was about to leave when she was startled by another sneeze.

"Hhhrrrsschhhhh! Excuse me."

She shyly ventured a gesundheit, and turned to go

He raised a hand, and turned, looking ominous. She quailed very slightly, but Fred and George's lessons in bravado held, and she met his eyes calmly.

"Miss Weasley..." She waited, expecting the worst. "Professor Lupin informs me that you have some questions that you might want to ask me deriving from your previous experience with the Dark Lord. I do not think that our experiences are entirely analagous, given that you were an unwilling participant and I was not, but if there is something that I can assist you with, you may ask any question you wish, provided you are willing to suspend any more assaults on my person until your potion making skills improve considerably.'

She turned to him in shock. Was Snape offering to help her? Did he just make a joke?

"Well," he snapped, "Get on with it. I haven't got all night. There are hundreds of students waiting to poison me..."

Finis

Everything that ain't mine, ain't mine. I am probably losing money as we speak from this. Weekly Hatching #14, with all the colors of the Rainbow.
I've wanted to write a Ginny story for a long time - the way she has metamorphosed in the fifth book is really interesting, and she's well on her way to becoming a favorite character. I've also long wondered if she might not have some things in common with Snape. I've also been working on some twin stories, and George's (unrequited) crush on Remus is a feature of another story I'll post sooner or later. I apologize for the comparative dearth of sneezing.