Sneezefic by Paulie > Love Sickness

The Fellowship pressed on. It had been days since their departure from Rivendell, and the temperature, while slightly cool, had been relatively mild. However, for the past two days it had rained steadily, and it seemed as though there was no relief in sight for their soaked clothing. The mud made every step that much more difficult, and the lack of sunlight was beginning to drive down spirits. Presently, Gandalf took Aragorn aside and the two of them left to find a suitable cave or refuge, as it was clear that a warming, drying fire was badly needed. The hobbits huddled into each other while they waited, and Gimli and Boromir exchanged their highly exaggerated battle stories.

"Ht-chsh!"

The Fellowship turned in the direction of the sneeze, and were amazed to discover it had come from Legolas. No one was more surprised than Legolas himself, who stood stunned. Just a few seconds earlier, he had been fine, and then a peculiar sensation had welled up in the back of his nose. Unfamiliar with the feeling, he had been vaguely aware that something was about to happen, although he hadn't known what it was until the sneeze exploded out of him.

Pippin was the first to break the silence. "Elves can sneeze?" he whispered to Merry in awe. It seemed so-- un-elflike.

Frodo approached the elf, giving Pippin a silencing look on the way; there was no reason to talk about Legolas like he wasn't there. "Are you feeling all right, Legolas?" Frodo asked his companion. "We were afraid you might be coming down with something."

"Elves do not fall ill," Legolas replied distantly. He was preoccupied with trying to figure out what had happened, and in doing so brought a hand to his nose, almost afraid to touch.

This made him look somewhat ridiculous, and Frodo could not help giggling a bit at the sight. Legolas looked at him in confusion. Immediately, Frodo sobered and added, "It's just that we've never heard you sneeze before."

"Is that what you call the fit I was taken with?" Legolas asked, still not understanding.

"It's not a fit, sir," Sam stepped in, "it's just a sneeze. They happen when you're sick or sometimes when you get to stirrin` up dust in an old room. Sometimes they just come on for no good reason when you're about in the garden."

These all seemed like completely unrelated events to Legolas, and he was trying to sort them out when Aragorn and Gandalf emerged from the trees.

"We have located a cave not too far toward--" Aragorn looked around, confused, "Why is everyone staring at Legolas?"

"He sneezed," the hobbits chorused.

Aragorn's brow knitted in worry. He moved over to Legolas. "You sneezed?"

The elf nodded, and as if on cue, Legolas tensed, breathing erratically. "It's happening again," he said uneasily.

"It's all right, Legolas," Aragon comforted,putting a hand on his friend's shoulder, "Let it come, it is perfectly natural."

"Not- huhh... not to me... Hut-chushsh!"

Aragorn stepped aside, narrowly missing being misted by the elf's unrestrained sneeze. The ranger felt Legolas's forehead. "You are running a fever, my friend," he remarked as he noted the elf's irritated, fever-bright eyes. Legolas, frustrated, rubbed at his nose with the back of his wrist. Aragorn motioned Gandalf over. He then turned toward Boromir, telling him how to get to the cave, and asking him to take the hobbits and Gimli with him. "And get a fire going," he added, "let's at least get some of our things dry tonight."

When the rest of the company had left, Gandalf moved in front of the elf. "You seem ill, Legolas, son of Thranduil," he remarked, with more meaning than was spoken.

"Elves do not fall ill," Legolas repeated.

"Yes, that is usually the case," Gandalf countered, "but I know of elves who have had quite a bit of trouble with a different sort of ailment," he finished slowly, looking at Legolas knowingly.

Legolas paled as he realized what Gandalf was implying. He refused to meet the eyes of the man or the wizard. "You are saying that I suffer from the love sickness..." he finally understood. There was a silence while Legolas and Aragorn let this sink in.

"Legolas? Is it true?" Aragorn finally asked, voice full of compassion.

"The one I love loves another," he admitted, almost inaudibly.

"Legolas, I am sorry," Aragorn knew his friend hated this kind of intrusion into his personal life. He made no move to touch the elf, knowing he was feeling very exposed at the moment. "Please," Aragorn urged, "you must return to the house of Elrond! Perhaps he will be able to heal you--"

"No!" Legolas glared fiercely at the ranger, "I am no child. I will not be treated as such!" He stormed away toward their campsite, giving another sneeze as he went.

Gandalf smirked and leaned in toward the ranger. "The love sickness tends to make them a bit moody as well,"

"I see," Aragorn replied, smiling a bit, "So he will heal?"

"The love sickness is mysterious, Aragorn. It weakens the natural immunity they have for illness. I suspect that Legolas has come down with his first case of the common cold. I imagine that the love sickness itself will disappear, as we are far from his love, wherever she may be, and he will be distracted by the quest. Hopefully his love for her will diminish, and his immunity will be restored. In the meantime, we should treat his cold as we would treat any mortal's cold, so it does not become worse," Gandalf explained, then added with a smirk, "Although I suspect that he will be less than compliant."

Legolas sat looking into the fire, shivering. The hobbits had effectively removed his wet clothing and wrapped him in several blankets, much to the chagrin of their patient. "I said, I don't want any tea, little one," Legolas was growing impatient with Pippin, who had been offering him different kinds of tea for the past half an hour.

"But this is a famous Took recipe for colds, mister elf, sir," Pippin said as he worked his way in front of Legolas, holding the cup in front of the elf's face. "My mother used to make it when I was sick as a hobbit-lad," Pippin offered.

"Elves do not fall-- " Legolas was cut off as his body tensed again. The sneezes came out awkwardly, as if the elf did not know "how" to sneeze. "Tchoo! Hut-choo! Uh, huh-tsch! hish-Ishh!"

Pippin, whose weskit had been directly in the line of fire, grimaced as he silently resolved never to offer tea to another sick elf.

When Aragorn returned with Gandalf, Pippin was busy trying to get Legolas to cover his sneezes. "Where I come from, they do it like this," Pippin instructed as he demonstrated, covering the surprised elf's mouth with his own tiny hand.

Legolas could not help but be amused by the straightforward approach of the hobbit. However, he felt compelled to retain his elvish dignity, and so he removed Pippin's hand, saying, "I shall do no such thing, Master Peregrin. My hand would become filthy."

"Well, that's what we have handkerchiefs for," Pippin stated matter-of-factly as he pulled his own handkerchief out of his pocket, recognizing immediately that it was sodden from the rainfall like the rest of his clothing. Pippin looked at it for a moment in disappointment before handing it to Legolas, saying, "Well, better this than my weskit."

Legolas smiled and accepted the gift. The smile faded, though, as another sneeze threatened. "Heshoo!" Legolas caught the sneeze in the handkerchief, receiving an approving smile from Pippin.

Aragorn sat by the fire at the entrance to the cave, smoking his pipe. He had settled here next to the sleeping form of Legolas some hours ago when the rest of the fellowship had settled down to rest for the night. His own blanket and cloak covered the elf as he shivered from chills. He was worried about the fever Legolas had come down with. Aragorn had shared his cup of tea with Legolas as Gandalf had suggested, but half a cup of tea would not protect against dehydration. Again Aragorn stoked the fire and sighed. He took a long draw from his pipe and tried to shut out the nagging thought that had played over and over in his mind since Legolas' earlier admission:

It is Arwen he loves.

Aragorn had always sensed a great sadness from Legolas every time the elf looked at Arwen, but he had never understood why until now. A harsh cough came from Legolas, and Aragorn stroked the sleeping elf's hair to calm him. A tear came unbidden to the ranger's eye and he swiped it away angrily. Why hadn't he and Arwen simply parted ways when they first knew their love was doomed? The emptiness had been there, and they had ignored it for years. Aragorn felt he was keeping Legolas from the one he loved. And now... what if Legolas didn't improve as Gandalf predicted? What if his broken heart overcame him and pneumonia set in? No, it was not right for Legolas to keep thinking that Arwen was bound for marriage. Aragorn knew what must be done. He placed a hand on Legolas' shoulder to wake him.

"Aragorn?" Legolas sniffled, voice deep with congestion, "Are we in danger?"

"No, Legolas, calm yourself. I must... tell you something you need to know." Aragorn blurted out as he helped Legolas into a sitting position. There was a long pause as the elf waited expectantly for the man to find the correct words. "The lady Arwen-- she is not to marry me."

Legolas felt his heart soar, but was still a bit confused. "Why do you tell me this?"

Aragorn clarified. "I know of your love for her."

Legolas turned away, disappointed and embarrassed. "I do not love the Lady Arwen."

A long silence filled the void between the man and the elf. Suddenly, Aragorn knew. In his wildest dreams, he had never even thought that the elf could return such feelings. "It can't be," he whispered as for once he allowed himself to marvel at the beauty of the elf. Without warning, he felt a compulsion to move closer to Legolas and cup his cheek in his hand.

Legolas held his gaze. It seemed as though understanding passed like flashes of light between their eyes. Suddenly, dismayed, Legolas felt a now-familiar prickling in the back of his nose.

Aragorn noticed the elf fighting back the beginnings of a sneeze. Somehow, he felt overwhelmingly attracted to Legolas as he watched. Maybe it was the bright eyes half-closed in anticipation, or maybe it was the full lips, parted as if awaiting a kiss. Aragorn could resist no longer. Just as the elf's breathing became shallow, the ranger leaned in and covered Legolas' mouth with his own.

Legolas started at the unexpected contact, but soon leaned into the kiss, returning it with as much passion as possible before breaking away to sneeze. "ISH-shoo!" Legolas was barely able to turn away in time.

"Bless," Aragorn said, smiling.

"Thank you, I apologize for this weakness."

"I see NO weakness, Legolas. You are fighting well. I can only hope you will allow me to comfort you," Aragorn said, opening his arms in invitation.

Legolas moved into Aragorn's embrace and settled his head on the man's chest. "So many years I thought you loved another," he contemplated.

"So many years I took you for granted. It is devastating to know I am the cause of your suffering. But never again shall I stand idly by while you fall ill."

"Elves do not fall ill."

Aragorn allowed himself a small smile at that. Legolas was consistent, that much was certain.

Legolas fished into his pocket and brought out Pippin's handkerchief. "HUH-tchoo!! Uh-shoo! Heh... Het-chihish!" Legolas sighed and blew his nose. "I wish to be with you always," he said, once he composed himself.

Aragorn couldn't help grinning. Legolas was not usually this open, but it pleased him to hear those words. "And I you, Legolas."

Eventually, fatigue overwhelmed the pair and they dropped off to sleep. They were unaware that their last remarks were overheard by a small hobbit, who had been awakened by Legolas' sneezing. He whispered into the ear of the wizard, who was sleeping nearby. "Ay, Gandalf, whatever that stuff was you put into their tea sure worked wonders! They've never looked happier!"

The wizard gave a one-sided smile. "Go to sleep, Peregrin Took."

-TBC

Um, none of these characters are mine, I'm not making any money from them, please don't sue me! I promise I'll be good! I'll start capitalizing my I's and proper nouns! MOMMY!! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME??!?!! Wait, um, I mean, oh, nevermind. Stories are good.