The Way Things Are
a Harry Potter story
by Niki
"Hesschiff!" Remus sneezed wetly into his handkerchief.
"Bless you!" Severus called from the bedroom.
"Thang hesschiff!" Remus groans as he felt his head throb and his throat become scratchy. "Thand do, Seb."
"You're in no condition to go out, Rem. What do I just floo Harry and explain that your not well. Harry will understand." Severus hated to admit it, but in the years following his graduation from Hogwarts Harry had turned into a fine young man. The two of them typically were unable to see eye to eye on anything. But, he couldn't deny that the young man felt a great deal of love and admiration fro Remus. Nor could he deny that the feelings were returned. A lesser man would have felt threatened by Remus' devotion to Harry, but Severus understood that Harry was Remus' last remaining tie to his deceased friends and his old life. Remus needed him there, and the fact that Harry cared so much for Remus' well-being and happiness made Harry's presence n their lives irrefutability important.
Remus came in from the living room. "No, I'm sick at least twelve times a yare. That's at least 24 days that I can't be there for him. He asked if we could for a walk because he needs my advice. He NEVER asks for my advice. I can't just le-l- heschiff! heschiff! leave him hanging." Remus blew his nose wetly again.
Severus looked at him worriedly, but other than a slight flush of his cheeks and the start of a pink nose he looked perfectly fine. "What if I go out for the day? Then Harry can come here, and you don't have to go out into the snow."
Remus shook his head. "No, Harry talks most when he's distracted. But thank you anyway." He put his arm around Severus' waist and nuzzled into his neck. "You're so god to me. I wish Harry could know the same person I do." He quickly turned his head away. "Heschiff!"
"Bless you," Severus said softly, as his stomach churned uncomfortably.
Even with 2 sweaters, a coat, a scarf, hat and gloves, the wind chilled Remus to the bone. He had been able to convince Harry that he only had a sniffle because of the wind. And Harry was so distraught over his own problems that he took the words at face value.
"I just don't get it," Harry said, looking down. "She's so smart. But she expects the same from me. I may not know the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow African or European but I know the proper way to track, capture and handle a werewolf." Harry quickly looked at Remus. "Nothing personal, but..." he saw the hurt look in Remus' eyes, even as Remus tried to hide it. Harry's eyes filled with concern. He looked down and kicked the snow. "That's exactly what I mean. I see the hurt expression in her eyes whenever I say something and I always seem to find the wrong thing to say. Maybe I should just break up with her. At least I'll stop hurting her...and you."
Harry added the last part at a barely audible whisper. Remus' wolf senses picked it up anyway, and his heart sank. Not just because of Harry and Hermione's relationship was falling apart, but because Harry seemed to think a mere slip of the tongue would cause such a rift in their friendship.
"Sometimes," Harry continued on, "I wish Voldemort had killed me, instead of my parents. That would have prevented so much pain. If my dad had stopped him instead of me-." Harry cleared his throat. He felt depressed and out of control. He'd never felt this way before, and didn't know how to handle his feelings.
Remus was near tears. The wind had thoroughly chilled him and he could feel his temperature rising. The tickle in his nose that he'd been able to surprise for the past few hours was coming through furiously. He understood where Harry was coming from. James, Lily and Sirius meant so much to him. But, it wasn't Harry's fault, what happened. And he'd never blamed Harry for any of it. He thought Harry knew that, but was coming to the harsh realization that he did not. He put a gloved hand on Harry's arm. "N-n-no, it's n-not like th-that."
Harry looked up and for the first time that day, really saw his friend. "Remus, you're ill! Let's get you home." He tried to focus the attention off of him. Besides, he could deal with his problems later; Remus needed him now.
"N-no. It's j-just a sn-sn..." the tickle took hold of his nose, "sn- ASHOO! Ictchchoo! Kisshoo! Hisshoo!" he sneezed wetly into his fist. He felt his balance wavering as he grasped for his handkerchief and blew his nose.
Harry firmly took Remus' arm. "Come on, old friend. I've got you. I'm taking you home."
"Hetchoo!" Remus pitched forward, thankful that Harry had him. Otherwise, he would have fallen into the snow.
Harry removed a glove and felt Remus' face and neck. "You're burning up. What id you come out if you were sick?"
"You n-needed hesshhesh!"
"I need you to take care you yourself," Harry interjected. He placed a weightless spell on Remus, and scooped the older man into his arms. "Severus is going to kill me," he whispered to himself.
Severus stood in the doorway dumbstruck with fire blazing in his eyes. "What did you do?" he seethed.
It had started to snow again and flakes danced between Harry and Severus. Remus was shivering in Harry's arms.
"I didn't do anything. May we go in?" Harry asked his he shouldered his way in the door.
Aghast, Severus yelled, "I didn't tell you that you could come in, Potter!"
Harry gently lay Remus on the couch, and notched up the fire to a dull roar. He then started to talk off Remus' outerwear. "What would you have preferred? Me to let him freeze out there, while you found your words? Never." He started to rub down Remus' arms to try to warm them up.
Remus coughed harshly, from his chest but didn't open his eyes.
"Like you did any better. What did you do? Ignore him completely? For someone who claims to be his friend, you have a poor way of showing it."
Harry stopped. He had been so absorbed in his own issues that he had completely ignored Remus. He looked at Severus with hurt yes, but remained silent.
Expecting a rebuttal, Severus just stood there. 'Things must be really bad,' he thought. 'He's never ignored Remus before.' "You know," he sneered, "I'd love to say you're just like your father, but your father never would have ignored his friends.
Harry's heart fell. He thought he felt the worst he could feel before leaving the house that morning. Now, he realized, he felt 100 times worse. He looked over at his old professor and friend. Remus' pale skin looked almost transparent, except for the flush in his cheeks and nose. He coughed deeply, in his sleep.
Harry winced. "I'm sorry Severus," he said, and made his way to leave.
"Running away from your problems again, Harry?" Severus asked as Harry walked past him.
"No!" Harry snapped defiantly, "I want to stay and help him, but..."
"Than stay. I'm not stopping you. Prove your friendship and loyalty to him. Prove that you are your father's son."
Harry stopped stunned. He never thought that he'd hear Severus speak favorably of his father.
"May I floo Hermione?"
"You may. Just mind the potions I the fireplace," Severus answered as he gathered up Remus and brought him into their bedroom.
Harry stuck his head in the fireplace. "24 Green Dragon Lane." The world spun and he saw Hermione bustling around their kitchen. She looked so beautiful, even with her hair pulled back and dust smudged on her face. "Hermione."
She looked started. "Harry! Why aren't you with Remus?"
"He's unwell. I'm going to say here to help Severus take care of him."
"How long are you going to be there?"
"As long as it takes. Would you like to come help?"
She paused. "No. And, are you sure you want to stay there? You and Severus have had your...differences in the past, you know."
"I know, but I have to Hermione. He's my friend, and he needs help."
"She put her hands on her hips. "When you don't take care of Ron like this when he's sick."
"Anymore. I used to all the time."
"And what about me?"
"I take care of you too."
"Right, but I meant what about us? You don't care about our relationship and the direction that it's headed?"
"That's not true!"
Hermione's eyes narrowed, but she said nothing. "Fine. Do what you have to. I'll see you if you ever decide to come home."
"Hermione what's wrong with you? You've helped care for Remus before."
"Yes, but we weren't having such difficulties back then."
"What's the difference? He still needs help!"
"And he gets all he needs from Severus who you Still Don't Get Along With."
"He needs help, and I will be there for him." And, with that, Harry pulled his head out of the fireplace. "Women!" he said, exasperated. He hadn't told Remus that Hermione wanted to take time just the two of them to work through their issues. He didn't' want to. If they weren't happy together, with alone and separate time, he couldn't understand how being together nonstop was going to fix things.
He went to the doorway of the bedroom, and knocked on the wall.
Severus' head snapped up. "Come on in, Harry."
Harry entered slowly. He and Severus had been getting along better, recently. However, he knew they were still on shaky ground, and he didn't want to mess anything up. "How is he?"
"Fever of 103, congestion, coughing, sneezing, sweats and chills, and his muscles are aching."
"Flu then," Harry interjected.
Severus looked up, surprised. "Yes." He furrowed his brow with worry and tucked Remus into bed. He gently pushed the auburn wisps of hair of Remus' face. "Rem?" he asked in such a caring voice that Harry could barely believe that it came from his former professor.
Remus stirred and moaned, "Sev?"
"Rem, Harry and I are right here. You're being taken care of, but you have to rest. We're here. You're not alone. You're not going to be alone. You're safe. Just rest."
Remus nodded and his eyes fluttered shut again.
"Harry, go get me a washcloth and a basin from the washroom."
"Certainly." Harry pulled a wash cloth out of the closet. He filled the basin with cool water and brought it into the bedroom.
"Thank you," Severus said. "Come on, I'll get you set up in the spare bedroom."
"What should I do now," Harry asked. He knew how to care for Remus. He'd done it before. But, he didn't want to overstep his boundaries with Severus.
"Now, we wait."
Harry awoke to the sound of deep raspy coughs. He opened his eyes. The room was pitch black. He was confused for only a moment before he remembered where he was. He grabbed his wand, "Luminos." Wand extended before him, he crept down the hallway. The door to Severus and Remus' room was closed, but here was a faint glow of candlelight coming from beneath the door. The coughing had stopped and Harry was sure he heard something. Then he heard the words. "No no Sev. Blease Kertcha! Blease sdop..." Then the harsh coughs resumed.
Without thinking Harry burst into the room. He immediately saw Severus hovering over an extremely miserable Remus. Severus was holding a canister of some sort, and Remus was red and shaking from the harsh coughs, which wracked his body. "Expelliamus!" Harry shouted and the canister popped out of Severus' hand and crashed against the wall. Green goo slide down the wall and the overwhelming smell of eucalyptus filled the room.
Severus whirled around and looked at Harry through dagger studded eyes. "Why did you do that, Potter?"
"Because he said 'no'," Harry said, wand still at the ready. He was seething. If there was one thing he couldn't abide by, it was knowing that someone disregarded the word 'no'. He didn't care what the affiliation with that person was.
"Harry, pudt da wanb downd," Remus said stuffily. "Seb was dust rubbig eudalibdus on be. I said doe bedause it dwas colb."
Harry felt his face and neck get warm. "Oh." He waved his wand at the broken container and ooze. The goo reformed itself inside the now whole container. With another flick of his wand, the canister was back in Severus' hand. "Sorry."
Remus smiled, but Severus scowled. "Did you ever think that it could have been one of his medications not so easily remedied before you did that?"
"No," Harry answered, truthfully. Outwardly, he acted as though he didn't care. Yet, inwardly that comment got to him. What if it was one of Remus' medications? What if it had been destroyed in the crash? What if Remus was suffering now for it? Harry shook his head to try to clear his mind of the thoughts. But, they wouldn't stop racing around his brain. The last thing he wanted to do, in all the world, was hurt Remus. "I'm sorry," he added.
"I didn't think so, but you're lucky this time. Next time, assess the situation for what it is, not for what you fear it to be."
"Hetchiff! Isshiff! Hehitchiff!" Remus sleepily took his handkerchief, and blew his nose fully.
"The eucalyptus certainly seems to be doing it's job," Harry mentioned, to try to break some of the tension in the room.
"Hetchichiff!"
"Bless you, hon," Severus said, gently.
Remus nodded and slipped down under the covers.
"Just rest, love," Severus whispered, tenderly tucking Remus in.
"Are you warm enough?" Harry asked, noticing that Remus had started to shiver.
"Yes th thang do. Hischichiff!"
"Bless you," both Harry and Severus said at the same time. Remus smiled and let sleep overtake him.
When he was certain Remus was asleep, Severus said, "Come on Harry. Let's get some tea."
Nervously, Harry followed him to the kitchen.
Severus bit back his pride, concern and anger. "Lavender or chamomile?" he asked as non-scathingly as he could muster.
"Chamomile, please."
"Do you know what his medications are?" Severus asked, out of the blue.
"Excuse me?"
"Rem's medications. Do you know what they are?"
"I know he has to take wolfsbane. But, other than that, he's kept his potions and herbs regimen to himself."
"Come, I'll show you what he takes, and how to administer it."
"Uh okay," Harry said, as he stepped up to the fireplace with Severus. He was ready to see the Dark Lord leap from the flames and swallow him whole, but surprisingly enough nothing of the sort happened. Instead, Severus showed him everything he'd need to know to take care of Remus, if the need ever arose.
"I had no idea he took all of this," Harry confessed afterwards.
"It's a hard life he leads, but he'll never come out and admit it. He's amazing that way." SEverus felt his heart swell and he was sure he was smiling.
Harry saw the smile, but pretended not to notice. "I should get back to bed. It's been hours, and I have to work in the morning. Good night, Severus."
Less than four hours later, Harry awoke to his wand vibrating. He changed for work and slipped silently out the door. He didn't see anybody and he hoped that both Remus and Severus were getting some well deserved rest.
After work Harry stopped in to check on Hermione. She asked how he was and how Remus was, and then left to go shopping with her mother. Harry assumed she was still angry, so he gathered up some of his clothes and other necessities and headed over to Remus and Severus' home again.
Almost before he walked in the door, he heard, "You're late. Remus was getting worried about you."
"Yes, I'm sorry about that. I stopped in to check on Hermione."
"You could have owled us at least," Severus snaped.
"My apologies," Harry said. "I didn't think about it."
Severus raised his eyebrows but said nothing. After a moment he said, "Well go to him. He's asleep, but there's plenty you can do to help him. You've done this before."
'Yes, but not with you here,' Harry thought as he went into the bedroom. Remus was snoring deeply. Harry smiled. 'At least he's resting,' he thought. Harry looked around the room. Severus was right. There was plenty that he could do Pointing his wand at the bed, he made the used tissues fly onto the stack that filled the wastebasket. He empties the waste basket and got Remus a fresh glass of water, while he was there.
"Is he awake?" Severus asked, brewing something icky smelling stuff on the fire.
"No, but I figured I'd tidy up some while he's sleeping."
Severus nodded and continued to sitr his concoction.
"What is it you're making?"
"It's a flu potion that won't interfere with his system. Thank you for asking."
Surprised by the politeness of the response, Harry mumbled a 'your welcome' and went back into the bedroom. He made sure there was water in the basin and that it was the right temperature. He made sure that everything Remus would need was within reach. He turned the cushion on the chair Severus has obviously stayed in the night before, and made sure that a spare blanket was draped over the back of the chair. HE ran his wand over a still snoring Remus. The symptoms were all the same except that his fever was up to 103.5 degrees.
Harry dipped the washcloth into the basin and placed it on Remus' forehead. Remus stirred. "Seb?" he asked weakly, wincing as he spoke.
"No, it's Harry," he said, as he helped Remus sit up some, and handed him a glass of water. He helped guide it to his lips, and Remus took a few sips before heavy coughing overtook him.
Thankful that he still had a grip on the glass, Harry pulled it away and set it on the bedside table, and gently but firmly- rubbed Remus' back. Remus' hand was tightly gripped around his handkerchief, as he held it close to his mouth. With his other hand, he grabbed Harry's hand and squeezed it with every deep, harsh cough. Tears started to well in his eyes. His chest hurt so badly that each cough made him feel like his chest was going to rip apart.
"Easy now Remus," Harry soothed. "Deep breaths. Try to take deep breaths for me."
Remus took a few shaky breaths, coughed a few times, then took a few more deep breaths. Slowly but surely his coughing subsided.
"Here, let's try this again," Harry said, handing him the water glass.
Remus took a slow drink and put the glass down. "Thand do," he whispered hoarsely. "How dwas word?" He sniffed stuffily and tried to blow his nose, but to no avail.
"Work was work. Nothing too outrageous today. Moody sends his oddest though."
Remus smiled. That was like Moody. He never sent his best, because he always claimed his needed that for himself. A cook of concern suddenly crossed Remus' face. "Do dibn'd dell hib I'b sid dib do?" His breathing started to get heavier.
Aware of what a private and, to a degree, proud person Remus was, Harry understood the concern. "No, of course not."
Remus nodded and looked down. His breath was still getting heavier.
"Remus, are you ," Harry started.
"Hetch! Ietchoo! Hetchtchoo! ITchesshoo! Tisshoo! Itchchoo! Iffrshoo! Ictchoo! Ietchchsoo!" Remus had his handkerchief balled I his fist, pressed up against his face.
"Bless you." Realizing the handkerchief was no longer of any use, Harry handed over a tissue.
"Th-h h- Atcsshoo!" Remus buried his nose into the tissue and blew it wetly. He groaned miserably.
"Bless you," Harry said and went to take the tissue.
"Gob id," Remus said as he dropped the used tissue into the waste basket. Remus felt his eyelids get heavy again. Harry helped him settle back down on the pillows. "Thand do," Remus said, and yawned. Harry rewet the washcloth and put it on Remus' forehead. Remus smiled and drifted off to sleep.
Harry smiled at him. He brushed Remus' cheek tenderly. "I'm here, old friend," he whispered and quietly left the room.
"I heard him sneezing. He's not still awake is he?"
"Nah, he drank some water and drifted back to sleep."
Severus nodded. "I hate when he gets sick like this, Harry. It worries me so much. I don't ever want to take him back to St. Mungo's again."
Perplexed, Harry took a seat across the table from Severus. "When was he in St. Mungo's?"
Snapping back into the form that Harry knew him best by, his eyes turned cold. "IF I wanted to talk about the instance, I would have."
"Okay," Harry replied with a twinge of defensiveness in his voice.
Severus looked down, mentally kicking himself. Remus had begged him to try to be nice to Harry something that he'd never been very good at, even the few times he had tried. The fact that he looked so much like James never helped either. There were times when Harry would give him a look, and he felt himself being jinxed all over again. He could almost see the world flip upside-down as his books flew out of his hands. HE could almost hear the laughter from James, Sirius, Moody, and ... no- he and Remus had discussed that at length. And, while Remus may have been laughing then, he had proven his love and loyalty over and over again. Severus hated those memories. There were from such a dark part of his life. He promised Remus today that he would try to be nice to someone that he'd never even taken the time to get to know. But, maybe Remus was right. Maybe now was the time to get to know him. After all as Remus had reminded him, Harry was not James.
Harry's stomach grumbled. He missed Hermione and her cooking. He considered telling Severus that he was going home and would be back in a few hours.
"You must be started, would you like some dinner?" Severus offered.
Or not. "Sounds good, will you be eating as well?"
"I'll have a little," he said as he started pulling food out. "So, how was your day?"
"It was a day. Nothing special."
"You're lying. Remus may buy that, but I know better."
Harry's eyes burned with anger. "I'm not lying. I just don't want to discuss it."
"Your choice," Severus said, and they ate in silence.
After supper Severus retired to his bedroom. Harry cleared and cleaned the table. He put away the leftovers. Then he showered and went to bed.
"NO!!!"
Harry awoke after a few hours of sleep, to the sounds of Remus fighting. Well aware of the delusions which almost always accompanied Remus' fever, he stashed his wanted in his pajama pocked and sprinted down the hall. When he peered into the room he saw Remus huddled into a corner of the bed, with both his and Severus' wands, pointed at Severus who was standing very still across the room.
"Rem, love, put the wands down," he begged.
"NO! Sirius was right about you You're DARK!"
"Rem, those days are over. It's not real anymore. You have to put the wands down." Severus eyes were filled with fear. He saw Harry at the doorway. "James!" he called out. "Take off those silly glasses and show him that it's okay. That we're all friends now."
Harry put his glasses next to his wand. He strode confidently into the room. "Hey Remus; how're you feeling?" Unfortunately, since he was unable to see, he tripped over something on the floor and tumbled onto the bed. He sat up and gave Remus a big cheesy grin.
Remus' face lit up. "James? James? Is it really you?" He put the wands down and pulled Harry into a tight embrace. Harry quickly scooped up the wands and slipped them off the side of the bed. Remus started talking to Harry at a mile a minute, until his illness took hold of him again.
"Rem," Harry soothed, "why don't you get some rest?"
"Because he's here," Remus said, eyeing Severus suspiciously.
"It's okay," Harry knew he had to make up something, and fast, "he's here to tutor me in the defense against the dark arts." He leaned in close to Remus and added, "Who better than one who knows first hand. Don't worry though, we've got him covered."
Remus nodded. "Hitcshiff! Okay." And settled back down in bed.
Harry slipped off the side of the bed, where he'd placed the wands. He grabbed them and kept them behind his back. "Severus, why don't you go wait in the kitchen?"
"Fine by me," Severus answered darkly.
Harry tucked Remus in and waiting until his breathing became regular. Then he joined Severus in the kitchen.
"I hate that," Severus said, wearily, sitting down at the table. He folded his arms on the table and put his head down on them.
Unsure of how to act, Harry sat across from him. If it had been Ron, Hermione or Remus, Harry would have stood behind them, and put his hands on their shoulders. But he wasn't sure if that was appropriate with Severus. "I know his hallucinations can be quite intense."
"You don't know the half of it. With my past and his past...he stops trusting me. He forgets who we are now and how far we have come. It's like the past 4 years never happened." His eyes didn't show it, but Harry could hear hurt in Severus' voice And who could blame him, really?
"He really does love you," Harry said before he could stop himself.
Severus looked at him, expectantly.
"He cares a great deal for you. The past 4 years... well it's not only kept him alive, but happy. And that's something I don't think he'd ever think he'd have again. He didn't have anyone before you, Severus. And he knows he's very lucky to have you."
Severus smiled at Harry. Harry smiled back.
"You'd better go to bed. You've got work in the morning."
"You'd better go to bed too. Do you want mine? I'll sleep on the couch," Harry offered.
"No, that's okay. I have to keep an eye on Remus."
"Okay, good night."
"Good night. Oh, and Harry?"
Harry turned around.
"Good work in there. You really were the spitting image of your father."
"Thanks. Oh, and here's your and Remus' wands back. Try to get some rest Severus."
"How's Hermione?" Moody asked the next morning.
"Don't know. I haven't seen her really in the past few days, why?"
"Just asking. Where have you been staying?"
They were waiting for the rest of the team to arrive.
"At Remus and Severus'."
"Ah, is Remus okay?"
"As okay as he can be."
"Ah, I remember those days. Everything okay with them?"
"Don't know."
"Everything okay with you and Hermione?"
"No."
"Ah, didn't think so."
"Why?"
"You're early is all. Generally, you're a late riser. And, honestly, if I was snuggled up against her, I'd be a late riser too."
Harry shot him a look, but he did have a point. Hermione was wonderful to snuggle in to. He missed her something fierce. But, they just couldn't see eye to eye anymore.
"Have you talked to Remus or Severus about what we're trailing?"
"I was going to ask Remus, but then things came up. I don't feel comfortable asking while ... well... you know."
"You should ask. They'd probably be able to help us out quite a bit."
"I'm trying to, but I just can't. Not right now."
"Well Harry, if not now then when? When the beast kills or worse again?"
Harry sighed as the rest of the team joined them. "I'll see what I can do."
Harry walked by his and Hermione's flat on his way to Remus and Severus'. He was bleeding something terrible. He could see the blood covering starting to trickle over his right eye. Luckily he hadn't been attacked really. Tom, his partner on the team, had slipped up and given away their cover. Tom was attacked and bitten. As per regulation he had to be transported to St. Mungos immediately. After then arrived, Tom panicked and started throwing miscellaneous medical items syringes, dollies, scalpels at Harry. He hadn't been able to duck them all, so he took a few bumps, bruises and cuts.
Hermione wasn't home, and Harry was feeling tired. He knew that if he didn't floo to Rem's he wasn't getting there. He cleaned up himself as best he could, and made up some phony excuse about what happened. 'Briar patch, yea that's it', he thought to himself as he floo'd to Remus' house.
"Harry!" Severus exclaimed as he jumped away from the fire. He furrowed he brow. "What the heck happened to you?"
"Just a bit of an experiment gone awry."
"I still don't believe you."
"You still shouldn't. I'll talk to you about it when the time's right." His face was throbbing and he didn't want to lie anymore.
"Hermione is waiting for you in the living room."
Harry stopped. "Oh?" 'Well I guess I should talk to her,' he thought. Harry walked into the living room. "Hi," he said, quietly.
"Hi," she said back. "Remus is pretty bad off huh? I mean, Professor Snape wouldn't even let me see him."
Harry smiled. He knew Severus was being protective of Remus. "Yea, he can be like that."
"So, were you ever going to come home?"
"I was just there."
"Well," she tried again, "were you ever going to stay there?"
"I told you, when Remus is better. You could help take care of him. He's your friend too."
"Harry, Remus is always sick. There's always something wrong. You can't drop everything. When he was alone, yea, okay, fine. But, he's got Severus to care for him now. He doesn't need you anymore."
"I want to be here Hermione. He's my friend. He was my father's friend before me. He's done a good deal for us. He never asks for help. I give it. That's what friends do."
Hermione sighed. "And what about our plan to be alone for a few months?"
"OUR plan?! That was YOUR plan. I didn't like it then. I don't like it now. I don't want to give up our separate time. Not for you or for anybody."
Hermione huffed. "Well, then I guess it's settled."
"What is? We didn't even discuss anything!"
"We JUST DID! I mean honestly, you can't think that I still want to be with you after what you just said."
"What did I just say? That I value our apart time? If you can't deal with that then I guess you're right."
"We're through!" they yelled at each other.
"I'll be going then. I'll have my stuff out of YOUR flat by the time you return. If you ever decide to do that."
"Fine!"
Hermione disappeared into the kitchen, and Harry heard the whoosh of flame.
"Well that didn't go well did it?" Severus asked, walking into the living room
"No. But, at least she's gone. I just couldn't handle her anymore."
"I got that. Tea?" Severus was at a loss of what to say. He wanted to be snippy and sarcastic, but he knew that Harry would shut down, and possibly even leave. He'd almost started to think he might learn to like Harry. Besides Remus would be really upset about it.
"No, thank you. I think I just want to go to bed." Harry's head swam. Did they really just break up?
"Stop in and say hi to Remus on your way."
"How is he today?" Harry was trying to keep his mind on the conversation. But, his argument with Hermione just kept running through his head.
"Feverish, delirious. He keeps asking for James."
"Does he know who you are yet?"
"Sometimes."
"I'm sorry Severus."
Severus smiled, half heartedly. His heart yearned for a kind touch from Remus. And, he hated that fearful look he'd get from time to time.
"At least it isn't the full moon."
Severus went pale. "Yea. Well you'd better get in to see him."
"Are you okay?" Harry asked. Severus had started to shake when Harry brought up the moon.
"Yea. I," he took a quivering breath. "I just haven't eaten yet. I was waiting on you."
"Oh, in that case, I'll have something with you when I'm done with Remus."
"You don't have to. You've obviously had a rough day."
"It's okay. I want to. Really." And, with that, Harry disappeared into Remus' room. Severus took a shaky breath. Harry's world had just fallen apart, and he didn't say something to make it worse a small miracle. And Harry had also agreed to dinner with him. Another small miracle, even without the circumstances being as they were. The moon, though. Harry had brought up the moon. It was weeks from it, and Harry never discussed Remus' condition without prodding. Severus put some stew on to boil while Harry was in with Remus.
"Kitchoo! Hitchchoo! Tisshoo!" Remus sneezed wetly. "Exduse be." He blew his nose, but nothing came out. He sighed and flopped back onto the pillows. "I dust cand kidk dis colb."
'Cold?' Harry thought. And then realized that Remus always downplayed how bad he was feeling.
"Yea, there's something going around. You'll get better if you just stay here and rest."
"Dot buch elds I can do. Heeatch!!"
"Bless you." Harry didn't know what to say or do. His fight with Hermione was still so fresh. Remus looked better than he did the night before, but not much.
"Da d danks Heatchoo! Hashoo! Itachoo!" Remus groaned miserably. "Doh Harry. I feel doe misderable."
Harry looked at him sympathetically. "I know," he said, putting his hand on Remus'. But, you'll feel better soon."
Remus was starting to raise his handkerchief again. "Hitchhoo! Isshoo! Tesshoo!"
"Bless you."
"I widsh Jabes was here. He always dew how do make be feel bedder."
Harry's heart wretched. He'd been so worried about Remus, his feelings about wishing his father was still alive instead of him had subsided. But, that comment made them come back full force. He might be able to pretend to be his father, but he wasn't him. "Yea," was all Harry could reply.
"I had a dreab aboud hib. He was here. You lood jusd lide hib. Hitchchoo! Isshoo!"
Harry smiled. "Bless you."
"Harry I biss hib. And Lilds. Dib I ebber tell do, dat dey took care of be, when I gob sid?"
'Only every time I take care of you,' Harry thought dully. But he said, "No, really?"
"Yeb. Dey were sudch good beoble. Hesshoo!" He blew his nose. Some of the congestion relieved itself.
Harry tried not to let the twist in his heart make his breath catch. "Yea," he said weakly.
Remus noticed. "Harry are do oday?"
"It's nothing. I'm fine."
Remus didn't buy it. "Den why do you look lide you got chewed up and spid out?"
Funny, that's exactly how Harry was feeling. "Just a long day. I'll talk to you about it when you're feeling better. Remus, do you wish they were here instead of me?" The question rushed out before he had a chance to stop it. He looked up, and saw Remus yawning. 'Stupid,' he thought, 'he's sick. He needs rest. This isn't the time or place for this conversation.'
Remus' heart twisted. 'The snow,' he thought. He remembered that Harry had said something similar when they had gone for their walk. What day was it? Could it have been long ago? Remus' internal clock was so off balance that he barely knew if it was day or night, let alone what day it was. "I do mids dem. . I wand dem do be here. Bery babdly. Bud Hisshoo! Isshoo! Kesshoo! Tesshoo!"
Harry stood up and tucked his friend in. He watched Remus, helpless to his plight, as sneezes wracked his body. He watched as Remus shook from every sneeze. How could he ask that question of a sick man? Or of anybody for that matter? "Never mind," he said. "Don't worry about it. It's okay. I didn't mean it. It's over and done. I'm just going to bed. Good night Remus." And with that he left.
'But, not at the expense of you,' Remus thought, as Harry walked out. Now he was certain, what he'd always feared, but took for granted that Harry knew better: Harry blamed himself for his parents' death. And maybe worse, Harry didn't know that Remus wouldn't trade him for his parents.
Severus had put stew on the table. "Thanks," Harry said as he sat down. "And thanks."
"What's the second thanks for?"
"Noticing that I look like hell. Remus sort of noticed, but not really. And Hermione didn't at all. Thanks for noticing me."
"It's hard to miss," Severus stated bluntly. "So, what happened? Or do you still not want to talk about it?"
"Which part?"
"Work. I don't want to know about you and Hermione. That's your business. And, unless you and Remus had a falling out ."
"You mean more than he wishes that I died instead of my parents? That he agrees with me that it's my fault that they're dead? That he wants them here instead of me? Then, I guess, if you don't count that, then yea everything's fine between me and Remus." Harry stabbed into a piece of meat and stuffed it in his mouth. He wanted to cry. But, he couldn't. Not here, not now.
Severus looked at him in disbelief. "Did he say that?"
"Sort of. I mean, I know I shouldn't have asked the question, but it's one of the reasons I wanted to talk to him so badly this past weekend. I've had this thought for a very long time. And, I wanted to ask him and get it over with. I needed the reassurance. I'm sure that sounds stupid." He stabbed at a piece of potato and stuffed it in his mouth. "Good stew by the way," he said. And it was. But, he couldn't taste much of anything at the moment.
Severus put down his fork. Remus could be cruel when he was feverish. Never on purpose, and 9 time out of 10 he didn't remember what he said by the time the fever was down. Severus had gotten used to it. But, it was apparent that Harry had not. "Thanks. What did he say?"
Harry swallowed hard. "I asked him if he wished my parents were here instead of me." Harry felt the tears behind his eyes. The tip of his nose started to feel fuzzy. "He said he misses them and wants them here very badly."
"That's all?" 'That's not as bad as it could have been,' he thought to himself.
"Yea."
Severus could see how that could hurt Harry's feelings. But, guessed it was rather that Remus wished they were here WITH Harry, in contrast to INSTEAD of him. "I'm sure he didn't mean it."
"I hope not," Harry said, wearily. I lost my partner and my girlfriend today. I don't think I could handle it if I lost one of my closest friends too."
"What happened to your partner?" Severus asked. He figured getting the subject off of Remus was a good thing. Besides, Remus would be the only one who could convince Harry that he wanted him in his life.
"Werewolf bite," Harry said, without thinking.
"Is that what you've been tracking?"
Realizing that he gave up the secret, Harry nodded glumly.
"Is that what did this to you?"
"Nope. It was my partner going nuts and throwing medical supplies at me that did this." Harry started to shake. He's known Tom all through Hogwarts. He knew how dangerous werewolves were, even in their human form. Knowing Remus all these years had taught him that. But, he was still having trouble tracking this one. Moody was right, of course. Harry should have asked Remus for help right away. But, he couldn't. Not after their walk that Sunday. Not when he saw the hurt look in Remus' eyes when he talked about tracking and catching a werewolf.
Suddenly, Harry felt a hand on his shoulder. "Why don't you get to sleep. You've had a long day."
Harry nodded and got up from the table.
"And Harry?" Severus called.
"Yes?"
"Remus does love you. Don't doubt that for a second. Do you really think you'd be here right now if he didn't?"
Unsure of how to take that, Harry just nodded. "Good night Severus."
"No no no... Severus, please no!" Harry awoke to Remus' sobs. Well, awoke would imply that he'd been asleep. But, really he'd been tossing and turning for hours. He heard Severus go to bed. He heard them talk. He heard a ruckus, like there was a physical altercation. He heard Severus snap a few times and he heard Remus snap right back. Then the talking had gotten quiet. Harry figured they were asleep, and then Remus started yelling again.
Part of Harry wanted to go help him. But, another part wanted to be left alone. And another part wanted to be able to vent to somebody anybody.
Harry heard a thump, like a person falling. Tired, worn out, and depressed, he got up and peaked out of his bedroom door. Remus was on his hands and knees in the hallway. Severus was standing over him, helping him up. "Love, please," he begged. "You have to be in bed. Harry will be okay."
"No, no... I didn't mean to," he sobbed, collapsing to the floor again.
"You didn't mean to what?" Harry asked, stepping out of his bedroom.
Remus looked up. His feverish face was tear-streaked.
Severus looked relieved. "Sorry to have woken you Harry."
"It's okay. It's not like I was sleeping anyway. What didn't you mean to do?" Harry knelt down to be next to Remus. He stroked the man's shoulder, gently.
Remus let his sobs consume him and sniffed wetly.
"What happened?" he asked Severus.
"He asked if you and I talked about what he told you. I said we had. He asked if you thought that his life would be better without you. I said yes."
"Why did you tell him that?" Harry asked. "You knew it would hurt him."
"Because I don't lie to my mate. I love him too much. And he loves you too much for you to think he doesn't."
"Remus?" Harry asked gently.
Remus just shook his head. "I didn't mean it Harry, I didn't," he sobbed. "I miss your parents, but I don't not want you."
"Remus," Harry licked his lips. He wanted to say what he was thinking. That he knew and had known- that his birth caused the death of his parents. That he knew that his birth caused Remus and Sirius to be torn apart. That he knew that his birth caused Remus 90% of the pain he'd felt in the past 22 years. That he was sorry for being born, and that he would trade his life for his parents in a heart beat. That he knew that Remus only talked to him because he knew Harry's parents, and that his loyalty to him would be non- existent otherwise. He wanted to tell Remus that he loved him even before he knew that Remus knew his folks, or how close they all were. But, as he watched the usually strong man, hysterically sob on the floor, he knew he couldn't. Harry knew that everybody had their hidden secrets, regrets, etc. This was just going to have to be his. And, he'd have to find a way to stop the pain from consuming him. "It's okay. I know."
He gasped between sobs. "I don't think you do."
Harry pulled him close. "Remus, it's okay. It's my own pain to bear. Not yours. Don't let my pain become your own."
Remus sobbed harder still, and Harry pulled him into a hug.
"I love you, Harry."
"And I love you too."
"I don't want you to leave. Please don't leave."
Harry looked at him, confused. "Who gave you the idea that I was leaving?"
"I know what it's like to feel like you cause those around you pain. And, I know how easy it is to leave. I don't want you to leave."
"But, why do you want me to stay?" Harry blurted out. He regretted it immediately. This wasn't the time or the place to have this conversation. But, it looked like it was going to happen that way anyway.
Remus looked at him through hurt eyes. "Because you are their son. Because you have proven yourself as my friend, over and over again. I don't have many friends, and you have gone out of your way, since day one, to become mine. Since before you knew who or what- I was."
Harry digested the information. "But, I'm the reason you don't have those friends. I'm the reason my parents are dead. I'm the reason that Sirius is dead. I'm the reason that the two of you were separated for so long. I'm the reason you have hurt for the last ½ of your life. It would have been better if I had died instead of my parents. Your life would have been better."
"No, no, it's not like that." Remus wouldn't look at him in the eye. He just looked down to the floor. He felt his stomach twist and turn. Would Severus ever forgive him for this bout of weakness? Would he risk one relationship to save the other? He didn't know. All he knew was that he had to fix whatever went wrong between he and Harry. And, it couldn't wait. He blew his nose fully. His sickness was still ravaging his body. His head felt about ready to explode. But, he hoped, if he kept blowing his nose that he'd be able to make it so Harry could at least understand the words if not the emotions.
"Remus, I'm the one who's hurting you now!" Harry snapped. "I have hurt you since the day I was born. Your life would have been better without me in it." He was crippled with pain. His wrists began to throb and he felt like he had to pull out the pain. He envisioned saying the A.K. curse on himself. That would make everyone happy. He'd be gone, no more 'boy who lived'. No more comparisons. No more causing the only true friend he had pain. It all made perfect sense.
"Circumstances have hurt me Harry. Not you. Not you ever." He couldn't breathe. His breath was caught in his chest. His best friend's son thought he was a burden. His only tie to his best friends thought that he was hurting him by being alive. The emotional pain was overwhelming. He could feel Harry getting ready to say, 'I'd better go.' He felt him about to leave his life. "Harry, I don't want you to go," he begged.
'How did he know?' Harry thought. "Now or ever? If you want me to stay until you get better, that's fine. If you want me to stay forever, that's okay too." Truth be told, Harry wanted him to say forever. He loved Remus more than almost anybody else on the planet. Remus was his family, closer than blood. He wished he could tell him that, but he couldn't find the words.
"Harry!" Severus yelled. "Enough. Hasn't he proven the point enough?"
"No, Seb. No. He has a dright do doe." He blew his nose again. Turning to Harry he continued, "Harry, I'b so sorry. I thought you knew. I've never bedrudged your existence. I wouldn't trade you for anybody not even your parents." He was exhausted. And, Harry was filled with so many emotions, he couldn't blink back the tears anymore.
"It's okay, really. I believe you. I do. I'm just going through a rough time right now."
"Ketchoo! And alone. And, I'm sorry. I want to be there for you. Just don't leave."
Suddenly, it all hit Harry. Remus really didn't want him to leave. Severus whether by his own volition or by Remus' didn't want him to leave either. "Severus? Can I stay?"
Surprised by the question, Severus nodded.
"I'm sorry Severus. I didn't mean for this to happen now."
"It's not over yet. But, this needed to happen. That's why I told him."
"Remus, as long as you want me, I won't leave." He sniffed. The tears were flowing now. But, with Remus sobbing in his lap, he didn't have the strength to wipe them away. He held Remus close until the sobbing subsided. "Come on, Rem. Let's get you to bed."
Slowly and gently Remus and Severus guided a very worn out Remus back to bed.
As Harry left, he turned around. "I'm sorry Severus. I didn't mean to hurt him."
"I'm sorry too. I didn't mean for all of this to happen tonight, either."
"Get some sleep Severus."
"I'll try. You too."
"Good night."
"Nite."
"Did you ask him?" Moody asked, the next morning.
"No."
"Why?"
"Bad night. Really bad night."
"Harry, you have to. This thing can't hurt another. You have an in to the deeper workings of a werewolf's mind. You have to ask."
"It hurts him to talk about it. There was enough hurt last night. I can't."
"He fears the wolf within. He fears the wolf hurting those around him. This one's wolf has consumed him. Harry, you have to."
Harry knew he was right, but didn't say anything.
"Bad night, huh?"
"Very."
"You still have to ask him."
Harry walked into Remus and Severus' house shaken beyond belief. The man looked rabid. A small shadow of the man he used to be. Foam and blood dripping from his mouth, a hollow ravenous look in his eyes, and that feeling of death that he exuded Harry could finally really understand Remus feared the wolf within The werewolf had picked up their scent and attacked the lot of them. Harry and Moody were unscathed, but Harry was shaken something fierce. They had lost two more men, this time not to bites, but to death. The beast had control of the man not the other way around, like it was with Remus. And, Harry now knew what Moody had all along. He had to ask Remus for help.
When Harry walked in, the first thing he saw was Severus, asleep and snoring on the couch. He had his arm bent over his eyes. Harry's thoughts softened. 'At least he is getting sleep,' he thought to himself. Harry tiptoed into the spare bedroom and took the comforter off the bed. He covered Severus, up to his chest. Severus stirred, like he was going to get up, but never did.
Harry checked on Remus next. He was also sound asleep. Harry waved his wand over him. Most of the same symptoms, but his fever was down to 102. He hoped that Remus had been able to sleep most of the day especially after such an exhausting night.
After showering and changing, Harry went to the kitchen and heated up some stew. He ate alone, mourning the loss of his partners and friends. He wanted to talk to somebody about the situation, but knew he couldn't wake either of them in order to do it. He knew they'd wake up eventually, and he'd ask them then.
At 9PM, both men were still sound asleep. Harry took the time to read through some of their library, and found what parts of the problems were. Number one, the wolf had picked up on their sent, because they were traveling in packs. Number two, the wolf had been able to smell their fear, but lemon balm could apparently mask the scent if mixed properly. He jotted down notes as he came to them. Nothing would be better than asking, but again, he couldn't wake them for this. Not after last night.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Harry looked up. Severus had stirred and was blinking absent-mindedly. "Oh, Harry," he said, sleepily, "when did you get back?"
"A few hours ago."
"And Remus?"
"Still asleep."
The knock came again. Severus went to get up, but Harry stopped him. "I've got it. You keep resting."
Severus smiled, but sat up. 'How could he have let himself sleep for so long?' he wondered.
"Moody!" Harry exclaimed as he let him in the door.
"Hello there, Harry. I just came to be sure you asked them the questions I told you to." He turned to Severus. "Hello there, Severus." He scanned the room. "Ah, putting young Mister Potter to work looking up his own answers I see? Well, I would have preferred you just told him. As I'm sure you know, we have a killer on the loose and we really don't have the time for extra research. But, I'm sure you've told him where to find whatever it is you have him looking for." He paused. "How's Rem? Harry told me that things are going well, but I don't see him. It's not the right time of the month for him to be in bed."
"Yes. Well, Remus has a bit of the flu. And, Harry has been helping me take care of him."
"As if you needed his help."
"As a matter of fact, I don't. But I do appreciate the help and the company," Severus snarled, in true him fashion.
Moody nodded. "Well I'm off to see Remus", he announced. Severus went to stop him, but found he was extremely exhausted and could hardly move. But, he smiled as he saw Harry body block Moody.
"I'll ask him. Thanks."
"No, I don't think you will. And, we've down 3 men already. You came face to face with him. It's not worth losing my whole team for this." He made to go past Harry, and pushed him to the side.
Not to be outdone Harry pushed his way in front of the door, but Moody already opened it. "You told me it was nothing Harry," he said as he walked in.
"I'b abraid dat's by faubt," Remus said stuffily.
"Rem, how's it going?"
"Terrible." He sniffed, congested, and snorted to emphasize his point. "Harry's been taging gare of be, ad nigt."
"Still doesn't explain why he feels he can't talk to you Rem. We've got a killer on the loose that only you can help us with. I don't really want to talk to them down at St. Mungos. Not with you and Snape at our disposal."
Remus' heart continued to fall. 'The snow,' he remembered. 'Another thing Harry had mentioned during their walk. He had tried to tell me everything, and I missed it all.' "Hissactchhoo!" He sneezed wetly into his handkerchief, and tried to blow his nose. But, to no avail.
"Bless you," both Moody and Harry said.
"He'b been legging be sleeb," Remus explained. "Bud I'll dalkg wid hib todight." His nose began to twitch. "He-Heh- Hek- Heathchchoo!" He groaned and settled back onto the pillow.
"Bless, Rem. Look I'll let you get some sleep," Moody said and turned out the door. As he walked to leave he turned to Harry and said, "You tell me what he says and then you're relieved of duty."
"What? Why?"
"You take care of him." And with that, he was gone.
"Why dibn'd do dell be Harry?" Remus asked.
"You've been sick. And there's been so many other things going on. It didn't seem important."
"Dot imbordant? Harry, dis beadst ids going do deep kilding undil ids deab." Remus coughed harshly, from his chest and released something that he spit into a tissue and discarded.
"Rem, you're sick..." Harry began.
"Bud dot deab."
"He's a rabid werewolf, in the body of a man. His instinct is to hunt and kill. We need to know how to trap him. According to Moody he doesn't seem to sleep ever."
"Doe, he wond't."
"Then how do we sedate him? He won't stay still long enough for a spell."
"Lardge abounts of wolfsband. Our sendses are do densitive dat id bades us allergic. Hashooo!"
"Bless. Where do I get it? And best yet where do I keep it?"
"Send Mad Eye to Diagon Ally. To the Secret Herb shop. He'll know where it is. Ask him to pick up about 10 pounds of inolialius wolfbanius. Each member should carry about 2-3 pounds of it on them. Sedate the werewolf when it's sneezing." Severus interjected.
" I'll owl him right away. Thanks guys." 'That was easy,' Harry thought, as he wrote the note and included the other bits that he'd found in Severus' book. About an hour later he received a note from Moody: Got it. Thanks. Consider yourself relieved.
Relieved of duty, and of one thing weighing on his mind, Harry went to bed, and slept through the night.
Harry work up in the morning, well rested and refreshed. His body no longer ached, though his heart yearned for some attention. Any attention. He still wanted to talk to someone- maybe Ron about he and Hermione. He wanted to continue talking to Severus, as he'd grown used to their conversations. He wanted to continue talking to Remus, since he hadn't even realized how much their friendship had deteriorated. He thought that it had been strong as ever, when they went for their walk, four days before. But, as shown in the past few nights, something had slipped through the cracks. And that something had to be fixed. But, how?
The house seemed quiet, as Harry got out of bed and got dressed. He slipped down the hallway. Nobody else was up, and he heard two sets of deep snores coming from the master bedroom. He peeked in and saw Remus asleep in the bed, and Severus asleep in the chair. Harry shook his head. 'It can't be comfortable sleeping like that,' he thought. But, he didn't have the heart to wake Severus to move him.
Harry heated up some coffee and read the Daily Profits that had been gathering. Same stuff, different day. There was an article about the werewolf on the loose. And, Harry thanked his lucky stars that he was not mentioned anywhere in the article. He sent an owl to Moody, and asked for an update on the situation. Then he stretched out on the couch and dozed for a few hours.
When he awoke next, it was to the sound of bare feet on a linoleum floor. He opened his eyes to see a pale, fever flushed Remus, trying to make himself tea.
"Remus! What are you doing out of bed?" Harry exclaimed.
Remus jumped and turned around. He was swaying, and by the looks of him, he knew it. Harry watched as Remus' eyes tried to focus and he started to turn a little green around the gills. Harry was up and to him in a matter of seconds. "Rem, what are you doing?"
"Baking tea," he replied, stuffily. His breathing started getting heavy and he searched his pockets for his handkerchief. 'Darn it. It must still be in bed,' he thought.
Harry placed his arm around Remus' shoulders and guided him to the couch. Remus' breathing was still heavy, and getting heavier. About two steps before the couch, he stopped. "Hetchshoo! Tisshoo! Tesshoo! Kisshoo!" He pitched forward with each sneeze, but Harry was ready and caught him. He lowered him down gently onto the couch. Remus coughed deeply. He felt stifling hot, but felt himself start to shiver anyway.
"Oh, Rem," Harry said, sympathetically. He put the comforter, which was still on the couch from when he'd covered Severus, over his lap. "I'll get you the tea. What kind is it?"
Remus looked at him with scared eyes.
"Oh, it's part of your meds isn't it?"
Filled with an irrational fear of rejection, Remus just looked at him blankly.
Harry retreated to the kitchen trying to remember what Severus had taught him that first night. Then he saw it: Harry, incase of emergency, please read. The parchment was on top of a small booklet. When he opened the booklet, he saw Remus' full regimen, including time, how to make it, how to administer it, reactions to look for, and reactions to respond to. He looked up the time and made him the appropriate tea. "Here you go," he said, when he was finished.
Remus took a sip of the tea and smiled. "Dank do, Harry." He rubbed at his nose with the back of his hand.
"Hold that thought," Harry said, as he went into the master bedroom to get him a handkerchief.
Severus was still asleep in the chair.
"Sev," Harry whispered, shaking him gently.
Severus stirred, slowly. "Wha-? Rem? Is Rem alright?" he asked, sleepily.
"Yes, he's fine," Harry said. "Why don't you get in bed? Remus and I are talking in the living room."
'How'd he get there?' Severus wondered, but didn't ask. Instead he just nodded, and let Harry guide him to his side of the bed and under the covers.
"Do you need anything?" Harry asked, gently. Truth be told, Severus looked very pale. And, Harry couldn't remember ever seeing him this tired.
"No, thank you, Harry," Severus replied, as he let sleep overtake him. Harry brushed some of Severus' long black hair off of his face. His skin still felt cool to the touch.
"Rest well, Severus." He took a few handkerchief's out of the top drawer and brought them to Remus.
"Here you go," he said.
Remus smiled gratefully and blew as hard as he could. Harry could see his neck turning red. Not much came out, and the blow had made Remus sway with dizziness again.
"Doe, Harry. I'b sorry," he sighed.
"For what?"
"For being doe sid. For nod being able to heh heh helb hesshoo! helb do." Remus tried to blow his nose again. It didn't work this time either, but he could feel his nose running. Afraid of making a spectacle of himself, he held the handkerchief under his nose, just incase.
"Rem, don't worry about it. I'll pull through alright," Harry said as reassuringly as he could muster.
"I doe, you aldways do. Bud, I wa- wah wahb Hisshsoo! Hissshoo! Hetchchoo!" He blew his nose again. This time some of it released. He groaned and sank back into the couch. "I doe wanbed to be dere for do."
"And you are. Just not when you're ill. And I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Doe. Seb dold be aboud 'ermione, and do dinking door a burden, and Heh heh hetchshoo!" he sniffed and continued, "and dot beding able do dalk do be, when do needed id." He blew his nose again, but again the congestion was too thick. "'arry, wad habbened?" He sniffed, stuffily and choked on the pressure.
"I don't know Rem. I didn't think there was a problem. Well, not until the past few days. But, I don't think this is the best time to discuss it. How about when you're feeling better again?"
"Doe dow!" Remus insisted. "Odderwise, id'll only ged worse. And den id may dot be fixable."
"Well, I guess we could take the issues one by one, and see where it gets us."
"Dounds goo goo goo HETCHSHOO! Hisshoo! Tisshoo! Hesshoo! Teshhoo! goob." Remus blew his nose wetly and felt the pressure release. Unfortunately, the bliss only lasted for a moment, since the pressure filled up again, almost instantaneously.
"Bless. Well the first of those was me and Hermione."
"Dwy didn'd do dell be do were havin' duch problems?"
"Because I didn't know how to talk about it. I tried to tell you how unhappy I make her. But, you were sick, and I didn't think you caught it."
'Did he do that?' Remus wondered. He couldn't remember. "I'b sorry." Remus closed his eyes and hung his head. Maybe this wasn't both of their faults, maybe it was his. Had Harry be subtly asking for his attention all this time, and he'd never noticed it?
"Rem, you were coming down with this. I've tried to mention it in the past, but everybody always treated us like we were the perfect couple, so we kept the problems to ourselves." He paused, "I miss her, but I don't miss the fights."
Remus nodded. "I umberstnd." He snorted and choked again. As he coughed, Harry sat next to him and rubbed his back.
"It's okay Rem. I'm here, just relax," he said in a quiet soothing voice.
Eventually, the coughing subsided, but Remus was rubbing his chest. He felt like he'd pulled something under the breast bone.
"Rem, do you want to go to bed?"
'Yes, the answer is yes,' something from deep inside Harry conjured up. But, Remus shook his head wearily. "We hab do fidx dis."
Harry pulled him close and let him rest his head on Harry's shoulder. He didn't want to have this talk right now. Right now, he wanted to protect him.
"And, I didn't talk to you about the werewolf because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. It's just not something we talk about," Harry blurted out.
Remus sat up and looked at him, seriously. "Harry, id's dot for bolide comberzation, bud if dew deed be, or by doledge, den dew ask be."
Unsure of what else to say, Harry looked down, "Yes, sir."
"Harry, I don'b wadt dew do dink dad's Hisshoo! Tisshoo! Hetchshoo!" He quickly covered his sneezes in the crook of his arm. Before he could sniffle, Harry shoved a handkerchief into his hand. "Danks," he whispered just before he released a long gurgling blow, and another, and another. He took a quick breath of fresh air, but knowing it wouldn't last, he rushed on, "Harry, I don't want you do thing thad there's adnything thad you can'd dalk to be aboud. Ebber. Whadebber id is, I'll be dere."
Harry smiled. "Thanks Rem. That means a lot to me."
"Do used do dalk do be bore."
"That was before Severus."
"Seb? Whad he do?"
"He took away your pain and loneliness. You didn't need me for company anymore. And I know a lot of my issues probably seem trivial to you. So, I let you be happy."
Remus could see where he was coming from. "Bud, I bissed do."
"I missed you too Rem. You don't know how many times I wrote to you and then didn't affix it to the owl."
Remus' heart twisted. "Dat's why do thind dou're a burden? Begauze I don'b deed dou addybore?"
"Yea," Harry said quietly.
"Doe, H- H- HISSHOO!!!" The sneeze was hard, loud, painful, and took him completely by surprise. Luckily he was able to sneeze it into his chest instead of onto Harry.
After he blew his nose, Harry laid him down. He was so exhausted. And, Harry knew what he was trying to say. He may not have understood it, but he knew.
After blowing his nose, and feeling the sleep overtake him, Remus knew that he only had a few short moments to say it, "Harry, I do sdill deed dou. Dour by frienb, and dere son. I lob dou. Don'b doubd be od dat." And with that he gave in to soft snores.
Short though it may have been the conversation left Harry with much to think about, as he went around the house checking in on each of them, and cleaning as he could. Around noon, he made some stew, and strained the broth for Remus. He woke Remus up, and gave him some of his medicinal tea. Remus started to gag and cough. Harry decided not to give him the broth, and let him go back to sleep. He then went in to Severus.
Severus was still sound asleep, snoring lightly. Harry waved his wand over him. Some congestion and a low grade fever. 'That could just be from not sleeping,' Harry mused to himself, and he shook the man awake.
"What? Is there something wrong with Rem? What time is it?" he asked in rapid fire succession.
"I made you some lunch and was wondering if you wanted any. Nothing's wrong with Remus, he's sleeping on the couch. It's about noon."
"Oh no!" Severus exclaimed as he tried to jump out of bed.
"It's okay. I gave him his meds."
Severus looked at him, and raised an eyebrow.
"I found the booklet you left me and followed it to the letter."
Severus sighed. "Thank you, Harry. I don't know what's come over me today."
"You're exhausted is all. It's been a rough couple of nights. Would you like some lunch? I can bring it in to you, if you would prefer."
"No, that's okay. I'll get up for it," he may have been starting to like Harry, but he wasn't about to let him wait on him. How demoralizing. And right now, both he and Harry could use all the pick-me-ups they could get.
They both moved to the kitchen table. "So, did you discuss things?" Severus asked.
"Some. I explained more about Hermione and the werewolf situation most notably why I didn't say anything."
Severus ate his stew. "Well, why didn't you?"
"Because I know how much talking about his condition bothers him."
"And you didn't ask me because?" Severus knew this answer. Even all these years later, Harry was still afraid of him.
"Because I wasn't sure how it would be received."
'Well put,' Severus thought.
"I won't deny you any sort of information, especially on something like that. Those days are well behind us now." He looked at Harry, who wouldn't look at him. "I hope," he added as an after thought. "Harry, do you still not trust me?"
Harry felt trapped. He wanted to trust Severus, especially because Remus did. But, so much had happened, that he didn't know how. "I trust you," he whispered. "I just don't want to do anything to jeopardize anything between us, or between you and Remus."
"You don't have to walk on egg shells around me. I won't break."
"But you might break me."
"You're still afraid of me." This wasn't a question. Severus could understand the young man's fear. But, he would have thought that it would have melted away over the past 4 years.
"I'm afraid of making you mad. I've seen you mad. I don't want that kind of rage turned on me. I don't think I'd survive it."
"Harry, things have changed drastically in the past 4 years. You would have to do something so heinous I don't even think you can think of it, for me to turn on you like that."
Harry nodded. Guilt started to creep in. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For thinking that of you."
"Harry, I'm not doubting your reasons. I'm just telling you things have changed."
There was a happy sigh from the couch. Both Harry and Severus turned to look at it. Remus was sitting up with a goofy grin on. "I lide id whed da dwo of dou ged on dwell."
Both Harry and Severus smiled, and finished eating their stew.
Afterwards, Harry was able to coax Remus to drink some broth, and Severus headed into his study to get some work done, as he put it.
Harry sat next to Remus on the couch again unsure as to what to say.
"Do believe be, don'b dou Harry?" Remus asked out of the blue. He felt so insecure about their relationship, right now, that he felt sure Harry was going to just leave, and never return.
"It's not that I don't believe you, Rem. It's just that I find it hard to believe."
"Harry, I'd gibe adnything for dour barents to be alibe. Adnything excebt dou." He blew his nose and continued. "Id I could habe libed oud the rest of by days wid your barents and dou, thad would have been wonderful. Bud, thad's nod whad happened. And thad's nod your fauld. Id's judst da way dings are." He sniffed hard, and choked. Harry rubbed his back through the gasps, and handed Remus water when he was okay to drink it.
"Thanks Rem. You ready to go back to sleep?"
Remus nodded. "Get Seb."
"But, he's in his study."
"Sleebing, I'd wager. Id's where he goes whed he dries to hibe."
"Gotcha." Harry knocked on the door. Hearing nothing, he walked in quietly. Remus was wrong, Severus was awake, but rather worse for the wear.
"HESSHHHOO!!! HESSHOO!! HESSSHOOO!!!" The wet sneezes shook his normally solid frame, harshly. He blew his nose with a long, gurgling blow. When he was through, he noticed Harry. "Oh, Harry, I didn't hear you knock."
"You're sick," Harry said matter of factly.
"Just a sn- sni sniffHESSHOOO!!" he sneezed directly into his handkerchief.
"It's not just a sniffle, I've heard that one before. Into bed with you."
Miserably he nodded. He could feel his temperature climbing. Slowly, he made his way to the bedroom, where Harry had already tucked in Remus.
"I'm sorry love," he whispered to Remus, as he climbed into bed.
"Hush now. It's okay. We're not alone."
"Do you th th thi-HEISSHOO! Think he'll stay?"
Harry was walking in with a tray of supplies. "Of course I will. Friends don't leave friends. I won't stay in the chair all night I need to sleep too. But I will charm the room so I can hear you. And I'll be listening.
"Thang do Harry," they both said in unison.
"HESSHOO!"
"Bless you, Sev," Harry said gently.
"Thand do."
Nightmares of a very intimidating Snape looming over him filled his nightmares. That evil snarl, the angry star....Harry tossed. There was Remus running at his parents house, which was on fire, with the dark mark over it. He was running at full speed, wand drawn, with people following him to stop the Dark Lord....Harry tossed again.
The sound of breaking glass woke him out of his nightmare. He heard someone in the kitchen. Sweating and scared he went to check on it.
Severus cursed as he wand-swept the broken vile and its contents into the trash. He was so hot and dizzy. Part of him knew that he should have called for Harry, but he didn't want to wake either him or Remus. They both needed as much sleep as they could get Harry especially.
"HESSSHOO!" He sniffed wetly, and reached into his pocket for his handkerchief. He was hit with a wave of dizziness, so hard that he had to lean against the counter to support himself.
"Severus? What are you doing out of bed?" Harry asked as he stepped out of the hallway.
"I didn'd wand to wake you." He felt another sneeze coming on, but his head was already pounding so hard that he was afraid any change in pressure would make his eardrums blow out. He felt his breathing get heavier and his head get lighter. He wondered how he was still standing.
"That didn't answer my question," Harry said, walking closer. "Why are you out of bed?"
His nostrils flared. He wanted to answer, but was afraid to, less he sneeze again. He reached behind him and handed Harry Remus' med book.
Harry looked up the time. "Gotcha. I'll make him the tea."
Severus nodded his thanks as the tickle started to spread up into his sinus's. He fingered his handkerchief, and Harry walked closer and wrapped and arm around his midsection. "Sev, sneeze. It's okay. I won't let you fall."
Severus nodded and pressed the handkerchief to his face. "HESSCHIFF!! HAASSCHIFF! HASSSCHIFF! I-E-ECTCHIFF!" He felt his body being thrown forward on each sneeze, and felt Harry put a hand to his chest to catch him. His legs felt weaker than ever, and his head swam so much he couldn't open his eyes without getting nauseous.
"Can you make it to the couch, if I help?" Harry asked gently.
Severus nodded, then continued to sneeze, "HESSHOO! TEESSHOO! HETCHOO!" He blew his nose softly. His throat felt raw and parched, and his legs started to tremble under his own weight.
"Bless you," Harry said, gently. "I"ve got you. just lean on me." Harry suppored him to the couch, where he laid him down.
"Thands, Ha Ha- H-HASSHHHIFFF!" Severus caught the sneeze in his handkerchief and blew his nose. Harry covered him with the comforter.
"You're welcome. Let me get Rem his tea and I'll be right back out." Harry went into the kitchen as Severus nodded weakly. The world seemed to bob up and down out of sync, which only made his stomach churn uneasily.
"Rem. Rem, wake up," Harry whispered.
Remus stirred and awakened with a few light coughs. Harry helped him up and handed him his tea. "Thands, Harry. Waid, how did dou... Where's Seb?" His eyes filled with concern and fear.
"He's on the couch. He tried to make you your tea. Said he didn't want to wake either of us."
Remus coughed weakly. "How is he?"
"Sick."
"You sure you have him? He's a bad batient."
"Of course. Now, drink some of your tea for me?"
Remus nodded and started drinking it slowly.
They both heard Severus have a sneezing fit. "Hesshiff! Assshiff! Hesschiif! Estchiff! Tesschiff! Hesschiff! Hasshiff!" Remus visibly cringed at each one. Harry noticed, and put a hand on his arm.
"I'll take care of him. I promise.
"Thand do."
"How are you feeling, Rem?"
"Bedder. Nod dwell, yed, bud bedder." He sniffed lightly. "How are do?"
Surprised by the question, he didn't know how to answer. He took a quivering breath. "I'm okay. Feeling a little lonely and scared, but I'm okay."
"About Hermione?"
"I miss her."
"And me?"
Harry knew unequivocally that Remus wanted him there, and treasured his friendship. But the friendship had grown so weak that he barely knew if it was there prior to this week anymore. "I'm not leaving," he answered truthfully.
"Is thad bedause you don'd wand do, or bedause I don'd wand you do?"
"Both."
Remus smiled, "Good." He quickly turned his head to the side. "Hisschiff!"
"Bless you."
"Thands," Remus said, handing him the now empty cup.
"HESSSCHOO!!!"
"I'd better go check on him," Harry said, as he tucked Remus in and left the room.
When Harry went back to the living room, Severus was curled underneath he blanket, coughing deeply. Harry went into the kitchen and filled a bowl with cool water and picked up a clean dish cloth. He dipped the cloth in the water and patted Severus' face and back of his neck with it. It didn't stop the coughing, but it did stop the shivering. Severus felt his body temperature start to come back down. He felt safe and cared for something that he ever thought he'd feel before or after Remus. Harry brought over a glass of cool water and a stack of handkerchiefs with a wastebasket.
The coughs got heavier off of the sudden and Harry sat on the arm of the couch and soothingly, but firmly rubbed his back. When the coughing finally subsided, Harry went back to the kitchen and came back a little while later with a steaming mug. "Here."
Remembering Harry's experiences with Herbology and Potions, Severus took it warily. "What is it?"
"Peppermint."
Severus smiled as he took a sip. He immediately felt the soothing effects of added honey on his raw throat.
"Why don't you get some rest?" Harry asked, as he watched his old professor zone in and out.
"Because I don'd sleep well when I'm sick."
Harry looked puzzled, so he went on to explain. "Illness is a weakness or can be considered one. The Dark Lord didn'd dake kindly to weakness, and the deatheaders were known for their ability to ward off infections. How h- HESSHOO!"
"Bless you."
Severus blew his nose, which was starting to get pink around the edges. He sniffed a few times, then continued. "However, I am very susceptible to the flu. I tend to get it at least once a year two when I was teaching. So, I'd have to hide myself away or at leadst tade somethind to suppress the symptoms. I taught myself not to sleep. Odderwise, I'd probably be killed. So now, I find it very difficult to sleep when I amb undwell. HASSHOO!"
"Bless you. In that case, do you want me to get you a book or something?"
A look of pleasure crossed his face. "Yes, would you?"
"Anything in particular?"
Severus' face had twisted. He was trying to preempt another sneeze. He recalled a time when he had no problems covering his illness. But, not it seemed almost impossible. "Any-anything by," he paused. He took a few deep breaths and continued, "H.P. Lovecraft HARSHOO!!!" He caught the sneeze as it doubled him forward.
"Bless," Harry said, as he went into the study. He emerged barely a few minutes later, and saw Severus dozing on the couch.
"Here you go."
"Thand do."
"Do you want me to sit up with you?"
Severus smiled. "Thand do, but I thing youshould get someb sleeb." He blew his nose steadily. "I don'd wand you to ged sick too."
"Okay, I'll charm the room same as the bedroom. Call me if you need anything I mean it."
Severus nodded. "HAARRSSHOO!!"
"Bless. Are you sure?"
"Yes." He sniffed liquidly, "But, thangs."
On his way back to is room, he checked on Remus. Who was awake and sitting up in bed.
"You okay Rem?"
"Just not tired." He felt lonely and sad. But, he couldn't explain why.
"Do you need anything?" He was tired, but didn't want to go back to bed if Remus needed something.
"No, just resting. You should ged to bed though."
"I am actually. Severus is reading on the couch."
Remus smiled, but had a sad look in his yes. "He's a tough batient. Won'd rest undil he absoludly needs do." His hand rushed to his face, "Hesschiifff!" He winced as his head throbbed.
"You sure you're okay? You look ... down."
"I'm just sick of being tired and tired of being sick," he sniffed. His heart felt heavy too, but he couldn't explain why.
"What is it, Rem?" Harry prodded. He reached over and brushed Remus' hair back He sat down next to him in the bed, and Remus moved over to make room for him. Harry put a strong arm around Remus' back.
His touch felt so good, so gentle and strong. He wanted a hug. He craved Harry's touch. "I don'd know," he said shakily.
Harry put a second arm around him and held him tightly. Remus coughed lightly as he let the tears fall. He sniffed and coughed more harshly, from his chest. He gripped his arms around Harry tighter with each cough.
"Sounds like that's starting to break up some."
Remus nodded, but tightened his grip around him and continued to let the tears fall.
"Rem, what's going on?" He knew illness brought out the most insecure in Remus, but he'd never seen him this bad for this long of a period.
Remus started to sob harder, but didn't say anything.
"Tell me the emotions," Harry said, without letting go.
"Guilt, fear, aloneness."
"Okay, why do you feel guilty?"
"I didn'd listen. You were drying to dell me someding was wrong for a while and I didn'd listen. And, friendship is a dwo way sdreet. I could have condacted you doo."
"It's okay, Rem. It's over now. You're here, I'm here, it's okay," Harry soothed.
"Bud, id's so easy for you to leave. I saw id in your eyeds."
"Yes, I was considering it. But, I'm not. And I won't. I'm right here Rem. Nobody's going anywhere. Why do you feel alone?"
"I don'd know."
"It's okay." Harry said, and he held Remus close and tight, until he cried himself to sleep. At which point, Harry laid him down and went to sleep himself.
At 10AM the next morning, Harry awoke to someone knocking on the door. Appalled that he had slept so late, he jumped out of bed and changed quickly before he answered it. He checked on Remus, who was asleep, and then on Severus, who was also asleep. He opened the door quietly, expecting to find Moody. Imagine his shock when he stepped outside and came chest to chest with Hermione.
"Hi!" he said, surprised to see her of all people standing on the stoop. He quietly shut the door behind him.
"Hi, yourself. You do know that usually you let someone in out of the cold, not the other way around right?"
He shot her an angry look. "Of course I know that. But, when the two other people in the house are both sick and were up most of the night, but are now sleeping, you'll do anything in your power to make sure they rest for a few hours," he snapped back.
"Oh. Snape is sick too?"
"Yes, Severus came down with it yesterday morning."
"And how is that going for you?"
"Better than I expected. He's really not the same man that we remember. He's changed."
"He's not the only one," Hermione muttered under her breath.
"Yea, we all did some of that. You included."
Her jaw dropped. She went to retort something, but stopped herself. "Well, aren't you even going to ask me why I'm here?"
"Sure. Why are you here?"
"I came to help," she said proudly. "And judging by what you just said, you can use all the help you can get."
"I'm doing fine thank you," Harry said, coolly. "Believe it or not, I'm not incompetent."
"I never said you were. You just don't think things through. And with Remus' condition, that could kill him. I'm just here to make sure he comes out of this okay."
"I haven't killed him yet, and after almost a week of living with him between me and Severus, we have him okay."
"Yes, but now Severus is ill. That makes Remus your responsibility. Do you honestly think you can handle that?"
"I'll do my best. Remus knows what he needs, and Severus has given me extremely detailed instructions ."
"But, you're best may not be good enough. Don't you get it? Without me there helping you, you wouldn't remember to put your shoes on. Case in point," she said, pointing at his stocking feet.
"I thought you were somebody else, alright?"
"Someone you would have let in?"
"Yes."
"And why am I any different?"
"Because we're arguing. Just like we always do. And, because there are two sick men in there who are finally sleeping and need their rest. And, where exactly would you propose we have this argument? In the living-room? Oh, wait, Severus is asleep on the couch. In the back of the flat? Oh, you mean near where Remus is asleep? What good do you possibly think you can do here?"
Hermione had tears in her eyes. "I've helped with Remus before."
"You're right. You have. But, you didn't want to help him earlier in the week, and now he's getting better. And, honestly, I'm not sure how Severus would feel about another person he barely knows being in the house. He's uncomfortable enough as it is."
A tear slid down Hermione's cheek. "I just wanted to help."
"Fine, come in and help. But only for a little while."
"Okay," she whispered. "It's not like I wanted to spend the night. Just tell him I'm there for him," she said as she reached the door.
"Wait a minute, which 'him' are you here for?"
"Remus of course."
"You don't care about Severus?"
"Harry, I don't even know why YOU care about Severus. Don't you remember that you don't get along?"
"No, you remember. I've been living here for the past week. He and I are getting along fine. If you can't help both, you can't stay. I'll send Remus your wishes."
Hermione sighed. "Can I at least come in and visit?"
"You can peak in, but I told you, they're asleep."
"And, if they're awake can I stay for a little while."
"Sure," Harry said reluctantly. He knew she'd never give up until she got her way. It was one of her less redeeming qualities.
When she walked in, Severus had his eyes closed, but was lightly coughing still lying down on the couch. He was pretending to be asleep, Harry could tell. He gently pushed Hermione into the master bedroom. Remus was awake and reading the Daily Profit.
"Hi Remus! How are you?"
He looked at her and smiled. He shot a fleeting glance at Harry, who seemed to be doing his best to look okay with the situation, but wasn't. Remus felt torn. He really liked Hermione, but would continuing the friendship with her hurt his relationship with Harry? "Hermione what a surprise!"
Harry was surprised at how much the congested had lifted. He was really starting to sound better. Harry smiled at him.
Remus caught it and took it as a good sign.
Hermione smiled as well, "How's your cold?"
"Bedder. Still not one hundred bercent, but bedder." He coughed lightly.
She drew her wand from her purse. "Do you mind if I take a look?"
Remus stiffened. Where had she been this whole time? And, why did she want to check him now?"
Harry saw him tense and his eyes narrowed. "Why? He already said he feels better."
"I'm sorry," she said, putting her wand away. "I just wanted to be helpful. And," she added, turning to Harry, "I figured you'd want o know, Mr. Caretaker."
Harry pursed his lips together and ran his tongue over his teeth. "And, I will. Later."
She sighed. "You make no sense."
"We've been on a schedule for a few days. He's just trying to adhere to it," Remus interjected. He felt a tickle starting to build in the back of his nose. He snorted to try to will it away, but it hung on and started to spread to his sinus'.
"Oh. Well is there anything I can do to help?"
"No. Bud thand you." He took a few deep breaths. He reallydidn't want to sneeze in front of her, if he could help it.
"I could go to Diagon Ally and pick up a few supplies."
"Actually, that's something I could use help with," Harry replied. "I have a list in the kitchen, if you're serious about going."
"Of course," she said, pleased that she could help.
"Come on, I'll get it for you" he said has he lead her out of the room and shut the door behind them. No sooner had the door closed than they both heard a muffled, "Hxxsht!"
"Doesn't he know that he can be heard through the door?"
"Of course, he just wanted to look respectable for company."
"But, it's me."
"And, right now, you're company."
Hermione took the list and money and took the floo system to Diagon Ally.
"HESSSHHHOOO! Shooo! KessSHOO!" Severus sneezed so loud and forcefully that Harry jumped. He blew his nose wetly, and coughed several times. Harry started to brew Remus' 10 o'clock potion and put some water on to boil for tea for Severus.
"heh-heh-HeEESHOO! HESSHH!! HESSHHHT!!"
"Bless you," Harry called fro the kitchen.
Severus blew his nose wetly. "Th-Thands. HESSHOO! HESSHOO! HESSSHHAA!"
Harry stirred Remus' potion and left it to simmer as he let the Melissa offinalis steep.
Severus started to cough harshly. Breathing was becoming more difficult. He was going to need help, and soon.
Harry added clover honey to the tea and took Remus' potion off the fire to cool. He brought the tea out to Severus. He set it on the coffee table, as he used both arms to help Severus sit up. "Danks. KASSHOO! Excuse be." He had been able to direct the spray away from Harry, but wasn't able to catch it in time.
"It's okay. No harm done," Harry said and handed him the tea. The steam made his nose run and his chest clear, while the hot cup warmed his cold hands. He took a small sip. "Belissa, dice." Again, he was grateful for the generous amount of honey that Harry put into the tea.
"May I run a check on you?"
"Do boint. Dou dnow whad id is. Bud, if id mades it eaiser Hesshoo! ISSHOO! ESSHOOOO!!" The last sneeze doubled him over. He felt Harry take the tea and replace it with a handkerchief, which he brought up to his face. There was another sneeze there, he could feel it. HE paused for a second. The sneeze wouldn't budge. He started to blow his nose. As the pressure released the sneeze came out full force. "HASSSHOO! ETCHOO! HXXST!" He finished blowing and groaned miserably.
"Bless you. I just want to see how high the fever is," Harry said as he handed him back his tea.
"Doe aheab." Severus didn't have the strength to argue. He barely had the strength to be awake. And, the last sneeze had given him a throbbing headache.
'Fever: 102.8, headache, body aches, chills, sneezing, coughing, congestion, nausea.'
"Addythig dew?"
"You didn't ell me that your stomach is bothering you."
"Sholben'd be a broblem. Dot 'ungrey addyway." Severus went back to drinking his tea. He wanted to talk about why Hermione was over, but he didn't need to. Their argument is what he had woken up to. 'A conversation for another time,' he thought.
By the time Hermione got have, Harry had moved Severus into the spare bedroom. The room was charmed, so Harry would know if he was having difficulty, but knew better than to smother him. Remus was out of bed, on and off. He and Harry had lunch together and he helped Harry clean and disinfect the living room, kitchen, dining room and master bedroom.
"I'm glad you're feeling better, Rem," Harry had said during lunch.
"Me too. (sniff) Just a bit of a sniffle. (sniff)"
"And, this time I believe it."
Remus looked nervous all of the sudden. "Harry, about Hermione..."
"You can still be friends with her." Harry answered before he could ask.
Remus smiled. "Thanks (sniff)"
Harry forced himself to remember that as Hermione and Remus chatted through dinner and now afterwards in the living room. He took the charming spell off of the living room and walked to the spare bedroom. He took the charming spell off of that room too. He knocked quietly.
"Cub id Hesshh!"
Harry opened the door. "Hey," he said weakly. "I was wondering if you could do for some company."
Severs forced a smile. Truth be known the last thing he wanted was company. But, he'd been listening to Remus and Hermione talking for the last hour and he was sure that Harry needed to get away. "Dure." He snorted loudly, and blew his nose. "Bud, I'b dot buch combany."
"S'okay. I just couldn't stay out there any longer." He sat down in the armchair in the corner of the room.
"I fiddured."
"You can go back to reading. I know you're not in much of a mood to talk."
"Danks."
Harry smiled.
"I bean for ebryding. Daking care of Rebus, and be."
"No problem."
"And (sniff) for whad you said do 'ermione dis mordig. HASSHH!" He blew his nose and cringed from the pain.
"This morning?" Harry asked nervously.
"I dwoke ub when dou dlosed da door." He brought the handkerchief back up to his face. "HAASSHH!"
"Bless."
Severus nodded. "I don'd wand do say buch."
"If it's because you're unwell, I understand. But, I uncharmed the room, so you can speak freely."
"In dat c-c-case SHAASHOO!"
"Bless."
Severus blew his nose, but it didn't make a difference. "I didn'd dow where dou were goig. So I sdarded do ged ub. Den I h-h-he- ATCHH! (sniff) 'eard dou ad 'ermione."
Embarrassed, Harry looked down. "I'm sorry I woke you."
"Dose were dome bery dice digs dou said. Aboudt bodth be and Rebus. I dwas srubrised do have your loyaldy. Dot dat I'b comblaindig. HESATCH!!"
"Bless." 'I didn't expect to give it,' Harry thought. "Well, you've both earned it."
Severus shook his head. "'arry, I dnow de ondly readson I'b earned id is bedause of Rebus."
"No, you've started earning it as well.
Severus smiled in spite of himself, as they continued talking into the night.
"Harry! Harry, are you in there?" It was Hermione's voice.
Harry opened his eyes, but the room was dark, and he didn't recognize his surroundings. Suddenly he heard deep snores. Severus was sound asleep in the bed. Harry was still in the chair. 'I must have drifted off,' he thought as he got up and answered the door.
"Harry, thank God!" she exclaimed and grabbed the cuff of his sleeve, as she took off back down the hallway.
He was about to ask her what was wrong, when he saw it. Remus was on all fours gagging badly.
"What happened?"
"I don't know. We were talking, he said he was tired. But, we kept talking. He excused himself to go to the bathroom, stood up and fell down."
Harry rushed to his side. "Rem?"
Remus coughed and dry heaved.
Harry felt his face, it was freezing with sweat, but the back of his neck was burning with fever. It had spiked again. "It's okay, Rem, I've got you," he said sitting down next to him. "Hermione, I need a basin of cool water, a washcloth, a glass of cool water and some crushed ginger."
She nodded and took off for the kitchen.
"Harry," Remus breathed. "I I need..." he dry heaved again.
"What is it? What do you need?"
"Bathroom."
"Alrighty, I'll get you there," he said, as he lifted him into his arms and carried him down the hall. The poor man was lighter than he looked. And sicker too. Remus laid down on the tile floor and let the cooling sensation wash over his body. Harry rubbed his back and hair. "You're okay. It's all going to be okay. You just pushed yourself a little hard, that's all."
"Thank you," he breathed. His breaths were short but heavy.
Hermione brought in what Harry had asked for. He wet the washcloth and put it on the back of Remus' neck. He put a pinch of the ginger powder into the water. "Have a sip for me."
Remus did, and gagged, but only a little. Slowly, he drank down the ginger water. He felt himself curling to meet Harry's touch.
"Come on, Rem, let's get you to bed." He placed the weightless spell on him and carried him into the bedroom. He rewet the washcloth and put it on his forehead.
"Thanks, Harry," Remus whispered.
"Shhh... it's okay. You just rest yourself."
Remus nodded and drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, Harry awoke to the sounds of Severus sneezing. But, he wasn't in the spare bedroom. He was in the kitchen, again.
"Severus, what are you doing up?" he asked, as he entered the kitchen.
"Rebus deeds his potiod. Dou deeded s-s-slAATCHOO! sleeb. Doe, I camb do made id byselb."
"That's what you're supposed to wake me up for."
"Doe. You can'd ged dis. HASSHOO!"
"If I was going to, I would have already. Come on," he said, taking a hold of Severus' arm and leading him back to the spare bedroom. After he tucked him in, he said, "I'm going to go give Remus his potion. Do you need anything?"
"Dus bore handkerchiefs. HURSCHOO!"
"Bless. I'll bring those right in."
"Dwhere's 'ermione?"
"She left last night. Remus' fever spiked again, and she left soon after."
"Somb helb she is."
"Yea, I know."
"H-H-HASSHOO! HEHSHOO! KESSHOO! TESSHOO!"
"Bless. Is there anything else you need?"
"Dew sindus's."
"I understand. I'll be back asap."
"Danks 'arry." He snorted and choked on the pressure. He gave in to fits of coughing and gulped down the water at his bedside. He didn't feel any better, but at least he'd stopped coughing.
"Hey, Rem. How're you feeling?" Harry asked, as he brought Remus his morning potion, which was in the form of tea.
"Better," Remus said, wearily. "Just so tired."
"Were you able to get any sleep last night?"
"Some, thank you," he said as he took the tea.
"What happened last night?" Harry asked, sitting in the chair. "You seemed to be doing so well."
"Well, when I got up to make my nighttime potion, I realized that my fever had gone up, be-be-hsssht! because I was a bit dizzy. Excuse me," he said as he blew his nose quietly. "I also noticed that I was sneezing more, but weaker than in the past few days. I figured it was my body trying to kick the last bit of the virus." He took another sip of his tea. "Hermione acted like she didn't notice, so I kept up the act. At about 9, I told her that I was ready for bed, and would have to be going there soon. But, as always, we got pulled into another conversation. Then about 15 minutes before you came my fever spiked. I couldn't see. I was nauseous. All I thought was I had to get to the bathroom. So, I told her that I *really* had to go to bed, and when I stood up to go, I collapsed. She tried to help me, but I was too tired and dizzy. That's when she got you."
"Sorry, I uncharmed the room."
"I expected you to. She didn't notice, but I could tell you weren't exactly comfortable with her being there." He took another sip of his tea. "Hxxxsht! Excuse me."
"Bless. You sure you're okay Rem?"
Remus smiled. "It's just the tail end, I'm fine."
"HEASSHH!!"
Remus cringed. "But, I take it that Severus is not?"
"Yea, I'd say today he's at his worst."
"Well, the good thing is these things tend to hit me harder than him. I can help if you'd like."
"And have you get sick again? That's okay. We'll talk about that again tomorrow."
Remus looked disappointed. "Okay. Hey, have you heard from Moody?"
"No, why?"
"They caught the werewolf."
"Great!" Harry was a little disappointed that he wasn't the one delivering the news, but he smile on Remus' face was worth it.
"HAA- HAAKCHHOOO!"
Remus cringed again.
"I'll go in a little while. I don't want him to think I'm babying him. He doesn't respond so well to that."
Remus shook his head. "No, he doesn't."
"How's your fever today?"
"Still there. Low grade. I'd say about 99."
"Well, you're free to get up, if you're up to it."
"Thanks. I may just do that."
"Just be sure to get yourself back in bed, if you feel your fever climbing. I don't want you to get sick again."
"I'll be good, I promise."
"HEH- AH HECKSHOO!! 'arry?"
"That's my cue. I'd better bring him some supplies."
"Thanks again, Harry."
"No problem."
"Here you go, Sev," Harry said, as he carried in a fresh glass of water and a stack of handkerchiefs.
"Dand d-ah-heh- HECHECHA!!"
"Bless. No problem."
Severus blew his nose loudly and groaned miserably. He coughed heavily, from his chest, several times.
"Would you like me to get the eucalyptus?"
"Blease. HECHAA! HECHHA! HESSSHOO!!" He coughed harshly, sniffed, choked and coughed again.
Harry brushed Severus' forehead.
"Dot lide do don'd dow," Severus said miserably.
"I know, I just like being sure," Harry answered.
"HESSHHAA!" his whole body shook with the sneeze.
"I'll be right back," Harry said as he headed into Remus' room, for the eucalyptus.
"How's he doing?"
"Miserable. How many days were you like this?"
"Only one, really. Then I slept on and off."
"What's he like when he's sick?"
"Angry."
"No, I mean, how does it usual hit him?"
Remus sighed. "Generally, it hits him all at once and then peters off in a few days."
"Good, because I don't know how much more of this his body can take."
Remus smiled as Harry left.
Harry let Severus rub the eucalyptus on his own chest and throat.
"Can you smell it?"
"Dot yedt." He sniffed, but his nose was still to stuffy to let air though.
"HAH-," Severus started to sneeze, but it stopped. Harry took the moment to hand him a fresh handkerchief. "HAH-HEH-HETCHOO!" The sneeze tossed Severus forward. "HETCHOO! HESSHOO! HESSCHOO!" And, so did those. He fell back against his pillows and coughed miserably.
"Blow," Harry said, gently.
He did, and some of the congestion loosened.
"Why don't you try to get some sleep?"
"Oday." Severus laid down, but the constant coughs, sneezes, and sniffles kept him awake. He dosed on and off for a few hours, wishing his could say the AK curse on himself.
Harry came back in after lunch. Severus was snoring deeply. 'Good,' Harry thought, as he went back into the living room.
"Is he sleeping?" Remus asked.
"Yea." He sat down. "I'm thinking of returning to work tomorrow."
"Oh?"
"Yea. You're doing better, and Severus well you know how to take care of him."
"Yes. Are you sure?"
Harry nodded.
"What's wrong?" Remus' voice filled with concern.
"It's hard to explain. But, I'm getting very comfortable here. I don't want to leave, and I'm afraid if I don't go now..."
"You're welcomed to stay."
"I know. And thank you, but I have a flat, and I should get back to it."
"Just wait until Severus is mostly better." "Hxxsht! Excuse me." He blew his nose softly and cleared his throat. "I don't want you to go yet. I don't want things to return to the way they were."
"They won't. But, if you want me to wait until Severus is doing a bit better, I will."
"YEACHOO!"
"I'll go check on him."
"No," Remus said. "Let me. I'll be careful, I promise."
"Okay," Harry said uneasily.
"Hey," Remus said softly, as he walked into the room.
"Rebus, dou can'b be here. I don'd wad do ged dou YASSHOO! sid," Severus blew his nose roughly. A lot of the congestion had broken up during his nap, but his throat still hurt like the dickens and his head was throbbing.
"I missed you too."
"Why are dou here? Does 'arry doe?"
"Yes, he knows. He's not okay with it, but he knows."
"'ow are dou feelinb lob?"
"Better, much. Just the tail end, thanks. How are you?"
"Misderable."
"I understand." Remus sat on the edge of the bed. "Listen love, I have a proposition for you."
"Dot dow. I'b in doe codidion."
Remus laughed lightly. "I know, love. A different kind of proposition."
"Oday."
"What do you think about taking on a warder?"
Severus raised an eyebrow and heard him out.
>
"Harry?" Remus called.
Harry came quickly. The room was still charmed, and he was worried enough as it was. "Yes?"
"Sit down, we have a proposal for you."
"Okay." Harry sat down slowly. 'What the heck?' he thought.
"How much are you paying for your flat?"
"About 300 pounds a week."
"Okay, we're paying about 500 a week."
"For a 3 bedroom? Nice."
"Yea, but we were wondering if you'd be interested in warding with us. Your cut would only be 700 a month, or 175 a week."
"That would be great. But I have a good deal of stuff, much more than one room."
"Dou cab brind dat doo. HESSHIIFFF!"
"Bless you," both Remus and Harry said.
Harry thought about it. It did make a lot of sense, and it sounded like a very good idea. "Won't we get on each other's nerves?"
Remus laughed. "If you didn't drive us crazy or visa versa when we were sick, I don't think you're in much danger of it."
"And, ib dou eber wad do brig somebody 'ome..."
"We'll go out. That's not a problem. Heck a girl would be a nice change around here."
Severus cast him a nervous glance.
"I'm not replacing you love," Remus reassured him. Turning to Harry he added, the rooms can all be charmed to keep sound to a minimum."
Harry smiled.
"And, that," Remus said pointing to a door that Harry always thought was a second closet "is the doorway to a small sitting area. So it's almost like you have your own little place."
"And, if company comes?"
"They get the couch. Not a problem."
Harry smiled. "I'd like that a lot."
Remus and Severus smiled. "Good so would we."
Harry cast Severus a 'and you?' glance.
"Des 'arry, be doo. HEESSHOO!"