The Prank
a Harry Potter story
by Niki
"Come on guys, let's stuff more in here!" Sirius whispered – giddy with anticipation.
Peter and James both watched him stuff owl feathers into Remus' pillow – mixing it in with the down feathers.
"Um, Sirius, don't you think that's going a bit too far?" Peter asked nervously.
"Nah. Come on guys. Remus turned our hair blue, and James' still hasn't gone back to brown yet."
"Yea, but Remus is really allergic to this stuff. Couldn't it hurt him?" Peter asked, still nervous.
"It'll just make him sneeze a bit. Nothing he doesn't do already. It's just a `gotcha'."
"Mighty big `gotcha'," James muttered looking around the room. In his need to be the biggest prankster in the group, Sirius had played on almost every one of Remus' allergies.
"Oh, you guys. It's Remus. He makes fun of himself all the time. Besides nobody else teases him but us."
"Yea, and if anybody else ever pulled this stunt on him, we'd beat on them until we were expelled," James said back.
"Right," Sirius agreed, completely missing the point. "It's just a little joke between friends."
James and Peter exchanged worried glances. This was crossing the invisible line. But, Remus was Sirius' best buddy. And, if he said it would be okay, they were inclined to agree.
When James, Peter, Sirius and Remus returned from dinner that night, everything was how it should be. The first years were chatter about things that weren't important – even to them; the studious were studying for whatever tests they had next, and the four of them went straight onto their dorm. They had all been teasing James about a cute 3rd year, who thought he was the bomb-diggity – which was the `cool' new word for `wonderful'.
As he opened the door, Remus was hit with the overpowering fragrance of daffodils.
"Flowers!" he gasped, as his nose started to itch madly.
"Yea," Sirius said with a smirk. "Mrs. Potter sent them. Aren't they pretty?"
"Very nice." Remus sniffed a few times and went to his chest to get a handkerchief. He didn't dare ask James to throw them away. He knew Mrs. Potter loved daffodils, and he was sure that the sentiment meant a good deal to James.
James fidgeted. "D-do you want me to get rid of them?"
"No. Hxxsht! No. Dat's aldidt. Hxxsht!" Remus blew his nose steadily.
"How about I open a window for you?" Peter asked, quickly.
"Jusd a drack. Danks. Hxxsht! Hxxsht! Hxxsht!"
"Look, mate. If they bother you that much, I'll just get rid of them," James offered.
"No. Id's dus de overbowerig sbell dat gob do be." He blew his nose again and threw his handkerchief in the hamper. "Id's gedding bedder alreaby. See?" Remus sniffed a few times. He could feel the tickle start to subside.
"Here, take my handkerchief," Sirius offered.
Remus blew his nose and immediately his throat became scratchy. "Is there somb wader in here?"
"Here you go," Sirius said, handing over a glass of water. "Hey wanna see the book I found at the Shack?"
"Sure," Remus answered. He was always up for checking out new books.
Sirius pulled out an old book, which was covered in dust. He held it up to Remus to took a step back. "How old do you think it is?"
Holding a handkerchief to his face, to keep the dust out, Remus answered. "Don't know, but it looks old." Suddenly his face started to tickle. Then itch. Then itch madely. He started scratching at his cheeks. "Sirius, where'd you keep this thing?" he asked.
But, Sirius was still paying attention t his book. Mindlessly, he held the book in fron of him and blew off the dust – directly at Remus.
"Oh, no!" Remus exclaimed, trying to take a step away. But, it was too late. "Hisshoo! Ixxsho! Etchoo! Isshoo! Ikshoo! Hectchoo! Isshoo! Ixxshoo! Hey heh," he buried the lower half of his face into the handkerchief. He felt like his face had lit on fire. He started scratching at his face so hard that red welts appeared. The more he scratched, to more it seemed to burn. "Sirius, wh- hisshoo! Where- hisshoo! Did y-you Ixxchoo! Keep di ding?" he exclaimed frantically. "I don't know. Sirius answered, nonchalantly. "I think Kretcher packed it for me."
Remus turned it over in his hands. "Cat-hixxchoo!"
"What?"
Peter stepped up. "Cat hair, Sirius. You gave him a handkerchief with cat dander on it?"
"Mate, that's SO not cool," James piped up.
"What?" Sirius asked defensively. "You thought flowers and dust would be funny. What's the difference?"
"Fuddy?" Remus repeated through blurred eyes. "What's fuddy?"
"Sirius thought it would be funny to play on your allergies," Peter confessed.
"And it would have been funnier, if these two didn't wuss out," Sirius added.
"Fuddy?!" Remus repeated again, throwing down the handkerchief. Not only were the people who were supposed to be his best mates laughing at him, but they deliberately put him in harm's way to do so. Dipping his hands into the water pitcher and trying to get the dander off his hands and face he yelled, "Get Out Of Here!"
"But..."James tried to cut in.
"Do Budt! Geb Oub! Hxxshoo!"
"Remus, we didn't know about the cat hair. Just the flowers and the dust and the – "
But, it was too late. Remus flung himself down on his bed, face first into the pillow.
"Remus!" Both James and Peter exclaimed. "Get up! Please get up! Trust us!"
Remus tipped his head towards them, "TRUST you? T-t-tkhxxsht! Hxxsht! Isshoo! Tixxshoo! Isshoo! XXST! Isshoo! Tixxshoo! Hxxsht! Ixxsht!" He felt his entire body begin to tingle – then itch.
Watching him scratch his whole body – reaching beneath his clothes to get to the itch, James asked, "Where'd you put the feathers, mate?" His eyes were cold, hard and unforgiving. "You told us they were just in the pillow."
Sirius giggled with a mixture of glee and nervousness. "I put it in the mattress as well."
Upon hearing this Peter ran out to get Madame Pomfrey.
Scratching and sneezing wildly, Remus shouted, "Why!?" Tears of pain were running down his face. "W-hxxsht! Why?" He started to sob. "I t-th-thHXXT! Thought you were my –f-f-friexxxtt! Friends."
James bent down and scooped Remus up off the bed. "Shh, I'm going to bring you to Madame Pomfrey."
"Why? Hxxst!" Remus was sobbing into James' shoulder. "I trusted hxxshoo! you. Why?"
"I'm sorry, mate. It wasn't supposed to go this far. I've got you. I'm so sorry, mate."
"Bad form," James said to Sirius as he passed him, and took a sobbing, sneezing, itching Remus down to the infirmary.
Not mine, don't sue
This was in response to Hatchling 121 - in which one character deliberatly makes another sneeze