Choices
a Star Wars story
by Niki

1

"Your mission, if you choose to accept it," the head Healer at the Temple started.

"Like I have a choice," Lisa thought, a little too loudly.

Tala, the head Healer stopped. "One always has a choice. If you feel that this assignment does not properly use your talents, I will attend to him myself." His tone was harsh. He had been through a lot in the past week – they all had. First, with the murders of the younglings at the temple. Then with the betrayal of Anakin. And, the turning of the clones – killing many of the Masters that they had promised to serve. And, the rest of the Jedi talking about scattering to the four winds. Jedi – in hiding – it was a new concept.

But, before hiding could happen, healing had to be done. Most of the Jedi Healers had been stationed nearby to the remaining Jedi. Only a few remained in the now shattered Temple, and they too would be reassigned to Jedi Masters to heal and follow.

Lisa looked at him. "No, I graciously accept the responsibility of Obi-Wan. Thank you for your confidence in my abilities to take on such a serious case."

"You know my history with him and his Master," Tala said. It wasn't a question.

"I do. And, I am surprised that you are giving this one to me," she responded.

"I am too close to the situation. Your friendship with Obi-Wan will aid you. My feelings for him will hinder me. So, will you accept it?"

"Of course," she said. "What choice to I have?" she thought.

"I heard that," he said, with a grin.

2

"Push," the mechanical voice said. "Push." But, she did not. Padme lay on the bed, not pushing, barely looking alive. "Come on, push. Push," Obi-Wan muttered under his breath. He felt with all the hope in the world that she would find the strength to live again. But, he felt her despair too. A despair he shared. As her vital signs grew fainter, he closed his eyes, "Oh, Qui-Gon, what do I do now?" he asked though the Force.

A hand on his shoulder made him open his eyes and turn to look. "Lisa, what are you doing here?"

"Nothing," she responded almost silently. His appearance had surprised her. She had known he was running himself ragged, but he was much more pale than he should have been. And his nose was a little pinked. But was surprised her the most were the tears in his eyes, and the dark circles under them.

He didn't buy it for a minute, and his cocked eyebrow told her so.

"How's Padme?" she asked. She knew he had been quite concerned about the young Senator, especially when she was pregnant with no father in sight. And, worse, when he discovered the secret that the Healers had been hiding, that Anakin was the father. She recalled late nights when Obi-Wan would come to her quarters and use her as a sounding board. He told her his thoughts and concerns. But, never had she expected that she would have to help him through such a trying time, especially when nobody had been prepared – not even the Healers. And with so many dead…so many friends…so many… she stopped her mind, took a deep breath and remembered the first rule to being a Healer – The issue is not about you.

She looked at Obi-Wan. He had obviously answered the question, but she had not heard it. "I'm sorry. What was that?"

"I said, she's dying," he snapped at her. He exhaled quickly, and closed his eyes. He looked back at her, hurt in his gaze. "I'm sorry," he sent to her.

"It's okay," she responded softly. "It's okay."

They stood together in silence. Her hand on the small of his back, pushing comforting energy into his exhausted body. They watched as the twins were born. And, she felt Obi-Wan's steps falter. Whether it was because of the twins, the death of Padme, or his own exhaustion catching up to him, she didn't know. Nor did she care. The important thing was getting him to bed.

3

Obi-Wan woke up through a haze. The dim glow of artificial light filled a small corner of the room. Otherwise, the room was dark.

"Obi-Wan? Are you awake?" Lisa asked, quietly.

"I am," he replied gruffly. He was surprised how deep his voice was, and how full his throat felt.

"Here," she said, as she handed him a glass of strawberry juice.

"Thank you." He drank most of it down, and handed the glass back to her. He looked around.

"Where am I?" he asked.

"You're in my quarters."

He remembered Padme dying. He remembered wanting to cry, but being surrounded by people. He remembered Yoda…something…. Yoda was there, but what did he say? He didn't remember anything else.

"Did I pass out?"

"Not before I got you here, but it was a close call." She was still whispering.

"Why are you whispering?"

"Just feels like the right thing to do." She lied. She was grieving the only way Healers were allowed. She had shed her tears while Obi-
Wan slept. Now, it was her turn to look over him. But, she was still in mourning, and she couldn't speak without tears falling again. If Obi-Wan wasn't falling ill she was certain he would be able to tell. But, she was the last thing on his mind – and that was the way it should be.

"I understand. Thank you for allowing me to rest, but I really must be," he started getting out of bed, but the stiffness of his limbs and the look on Lisa's face told him otherwise, "ahhh… staying right here, it seems."

"What hurts?" she asked, blindly. She knew what hurt. She could sense it. But, Obi-Wan did not like being treated like an invalid. And, so, as long as he was able to assist in his care she would allow him to.

"Just…everything," he lied. His head hurt, and his limbs were stiff, but there was a tickle. It was in the back of his throat. `No," he whispered. He meant it to be a thought, but she had heard it anyway.

"It's alright, Obi-Wan," she said sitting on the bed. "It too will pass."

"But the timing- kuff-."

"I know, the timing is awful. But, if you let it come, I will do everything I can to cleanse it from your body."
"Kuff-kuff-KUFF!" The coughs hit him suddenly.

She handed him a handkerchief from her drawer.

"Where did you get this?" he asked, fingering the monogram carefully.

She looked at him quizzically, and then saw it. QGJ. It was one of Qui-Gon's old handkerchiefs. "Oh. He gave that to me years ago. I was having an awful time getting a standing in the Healing Temple. He found me crying one day after a particularly intense argument with several of the more advanced Healers. He gave it to me then." She remembered that day well. She had seen him around, but never had a chance to get to know him. Her friend and teacher, Tala, was the only Healer who could get anywhere near him, and so she avoided him – well or sick. That day she had made up her mind: she was going to leave Healing for good, and find a lifestyle in another focus. It broke her heart. He found her and gave her the handkerchief. He then guided her through the hardships and spoke to her Master about the problems. When she became a Master of healing, he had been at the small ceremony. And, every time she tried to give the handkerchief back, he declined. He said he wanted her to hold onto it, so she would not forget how far she had come.

Obi-Wan smiled. "That sounds like something he would do. Refused it back too, didn't he?" His stomach was bottoming out and his heart was breaking. He was losing everyone. Everyone around him was dead. Qui-Gon, his heart and Master. Anakin, his student. His comrades were being killed by the clones that had sworn to protect them. And now, even Padme was gone. And the twins. What to do about them?

"Yea," she said with a smile. He knew his Master.

Tears were welling up in him again. `Dead. They're all dead,' he thought.

"You know death is just a part of life," she said. She knew that his thoughts should be his own, but in such a time like this there was little time, or place, for privacy.

"I know. But it's all so sudden. This isn't the way things were supposed to happen. Not at all." His nose twitched. Obi-Wan stopped it with the Force. He had never been graciously accepting of illness. And, right now, he didn't have the time to be ill.

4

When Lisa awoke a few hours later, Obi-Wan was not in her quarters. Quickly, she jumped up and ran out of her room. She briskly walked the Temple grounds looking for him, and finally found him talking with a few of the other remaining Masters.

"Go into hiding we must!" Master Yoda was adamant. "Follow Tala's instructions we will."

"But, taking a Healer with us, Master Yoda? It is too much. There is too much danger."

"There is strength in unison," another Jedi contributed. "But we cannot all stick together. Two on a planet is far better than one."

Admitting defeat Obi-Wan asked, "Have our Healers already been decided?"

"Yes. Know who yours is do you. Take her, you will. Trust her, you must."

"What is he doing up?" a voice from behind Lisa asked.

She jumped and turned. She had known Tala was standing behind her, but she was not prepared for him to speak.

"Not my idea."

"He snuck out?"

"Yep."

Tala chuckled. "You didn't think he would be unlike his late Master did you?"

Lisa smiled. She remembered Tala running around the Temple looking for Qui-Gon whenever he had fallen ill. He didn't accept it very graciously either. "I had hoped."

"Foolishly," snapped Tala. "Get him to bed."

She nodded, and joined the circle of Jedi. "Master Kenobi, may I see you privately please?" she asked so sweetly, the other Jedi's smiled before bowing and taking their leave.

"Yes, may I help you?" Obi-Wan answered pleasantly enough. But, she could tell he really didn't want to be in this conversation.

"Use any means necessary," Tala's voice said, in her mind.

"It's not how you can help me, but how I can help you. You've been through a lot this past week and –."

"I don't want to talk about it," he cut her short.

"I know you don't, but you have to. Before it-."

"I said I don't want to discuss it. That shouldn't be too difficult for you to understand," he snapped and stormed off.

She followed on his heals. "Obi-Wan, I've only ever known you to act like this when you really needed someone to help you. Look, there isn't much time to waste. Don't push yourself like this," she pleaded. She followed him into his quarters, and straight into the bedroom. "Obi-Wan, talk to me!" she insisted.

He whirled around on her and started walking towards her with the same determination that he had been walking away. His brow was knitted in angst and anger flashed from his eyes.

She took two quick steps back.

"I said," he barked, "HegtSHOO!" The sneeze stunned him, as it exploded out of him – hard and wet. He didn't even have time to turn his head away.

He stood in place for a moment and sniffled. "Not now, please not now," he pleaded to no one.

"Yes, now. You're body and soul need rest. You must talk to me. Let me know what you're thinking." `I can already feel what you're feeling,' she thought, subconsciously.

"No, you are not my Master," he said, sounding very child-like all of the sudden.

"No, but I am your Healer."

"I don't want you, I want Tala," he whined despite himself.

"I know you do. But you're stuck with me," she said gently, not allowing his words to sting. He often got defensive when he got sick. And not wanting care was one of those traits his Master had passed onto him.

"You can't understand what I'm going through! Don't you get it? You're just not – HegTaSHOO! EgaSHOO!" The sneezes exploded out of him. He was hit with a wave of dizziness that he could not control. He grabbed for her in spite of himself.

She braced him. "Blesses. No need to be angry at me. Let's just get you to bed."

About half way to his quarters his mind decided it had enough. Tears started dripping down his face. "I didn't mean to fail him."

"Obi-Wan, Anakin is responsible for his own actions."

"Not him. Qui-Gon."

"Obi-Wan, you did not fail Qui-Gon. You did the best that you could. Qui-Gon would have been quite proud of you."

"HeGaTSHOO!"

"Bless."

"I didn't do well enough. I just – heh- failed – as a – a – hah- eh- EGastChoo! I failed as a Jedi. I failed as a Master."

"You didn't fail. You are not the first Master who's padawan chose the wrong path. Even Qui-Gon had one choose the wrong path. You don't think less of him do you?"

"No, of course not." He rubbed his nose wearily.

"Then don't think less of yourself either."

He smiled despite himself. "Thanks."

She returned the smile. "No problem. Now, let's get you better, so that we can decide where we'll be hiding."

"EgKasshoo! Sounds like a plan."

Disclaimers: Star wars and all in it (aside from Lisa and Tala) belong to GL. Tala belongs to Tarotgal.