Bedside Manner
a Beetlejuice (Cartoon verse) story
by nichtgesund
When Lydia had seen Beetlejuice peering out at her from the other side of the mirror, looking so bedraggled and adorably miserable with his pink-tinged nose and bloodshot yellow eyes, there was no way she could have turned him away. However, between having to hide him from her parents and listening to his constant whining, she was beginning to seriously regret the decision to bring him out here.
"EHSHOO! EHHSCHOO! HuhECHOO! UGH, I'm DYING!" Beetlejuice lamented, blowing his nose loudly for what seemed the millionth time.
Lydia heaved an exasperated sigh. "Don't be such a drama queen, BJ. Anyway, I thought you were already dead."
The ghoul scowled at her sulkily, sniffling. "Some nurse you are."
Lydia cast him an annoyed glare. "Well, to be perfectly frank," she said flatly, "you're a horrible patient."
"Well I FEEL horrible," Beetlejuice told her indignantly. "Normally, I like that, but..." He trailed off, his breath hitching up before he abruptly jerked forward and sneezed all over Lydia's bed spread, not even trying to block the spray. "ESCHOO!"
"Bless you," Lydia sighed. She'd stopped trying to get him to cover his mouth hours ago; he'd assured her that she couldn't catch his cold, saying the virus was specific to Neitherworld inhabitants - and though she still wasn't sure if that was the truth or not it had become apparent that he wasn't going to cover his sneezes no matter how much she berated him about it, so she didn't bother. In spite of what a pain in the ass he was being, she still couldn't help but feel rather sorry for him. Anyway, she had her own reason for letting him stay, though she'd never admitted it to anyone, not even him.
The thing was, ever since she could remember, she'd always found something terribly erotic about sneezing. Her interest in the subject had only grown now that she had reached her teenage years, and the fantasies that played through her mind as she touched herself late at night between her satin sheets nearly always featured this particular kink in one form or another. And while she'd never really thought of Beetlejuice in 'that way', she had to admit, his sneezing was starting to get to her.
She had thought about telling him about this secret fetish before, on the random occasion when the subject came up (that is, if someone would happen to sneeze in their mutual presence, or if the conversation would steer towards the sexual, usually Beetlejuice himself bragging about his own perversion), but always she had lost her nerve and kept quiet. Anyway, there was no way she was going to tell him -now-.
"You know," Lydia said, mostly just to snap herself out of her current thought-process, "you'd feel a lot better if you just got some sleep."
"How can I sleep when my head's so full of snot it feels like it's gonna EXPLODE?" Beetlejuice exclaimed, his head momentarily bursting into a mushroom cloud for emphasis. He shivered then, not in jest that time. "Anyway, I'm freezin' under here, babes!" His expression turned to one of sly suggestiveness and he lifted the edge of the blanket via telekinesis, wiggling his eyebrows at her. "What say you hop under here and warm me up?"
"Dream on," Lydia smirked, but she found herself blushing none the less. She turned away and pretended to busy herself at her dresser so he wouldn't see it.
"Aww, why not?" Beetlejuice complained behind her, but before she could answer he sneezed wetly, twice in succession. "EHSCHOO! HuhESCHOO!"
Lydia giggled. "That's why." In actuality, that was the exact thing that had tempting her to crawl under those covers and cuddle him all day, but there was no way she was going to tell –him- that.
Presently he started coughing, a thick, rattling sound that seemed extremely unhealthy even for him. Lydia turned away from the dresser and peered at him worriedly, going to his side to thump her cupped hand against his back until the spell finally subsided. "You okay?"
He heaved a sigh, the circles around his jaundiced eyes looking even more ghastly than usual. "I've been better, babes." He sniffled absentmindedly, and Lydia noticed a thin trickle of snot had run out of his nose and was glistening wetly on his upper lip.
Her blush returned, deeper than before, and she looked away quickly, grabbing a tissue from the box on her nightstand. "Here."
He took it without protest, apparently too tired to fight, and blew his nose with an excruciatingly wet snort. Lydia laughed, half in nervousness and half in relief. Beetlejuice tossed the soggy tissue aside and gave her a weary smile, rather apologetic. "Sorry I'm such a buzz-kill right now, babes."
"Don't worry," she replied, patting him on the arm. "I don't mind taking care of you." Suddenly fearing she might have given away more than she meant to with that statement, she added quickly, "That's what friends do for each other."
"Yeah," he mumbled, leaning back into her black-and-red satin pillows. "It's too bad you can't catch Neitherworld germs. This cold would really look great on you." He sighed dreamily. "Your nose all red, your eyes nice and bloodshot... And think of all the snot!" He laughed excitedly at the thought, only to descend into another spell of coughing. "I just wish I felt well enough to enjoy it!" He finally came out of his day-dreaming long enough to notice Lydia, who was blushing deep crimson, watching him in awkward silence. "You okay, babes? You look a little out of it."
Lydia blinked, startled from her own day-dreaming, and quickly looked away. "Oh, I'm fine, Beetlejuice. I'm just... a little tired, that's all."
His expression fell into gloom at that. "So I guess that means you'll be sending me back home, right?"
"No! I mean, you don't have to leave..." She quickly thought up an excuse. "I wouldn't want you to have to be home all alone when you're sick."
Beetlejuice beamed at her, something that might have been cute had it not been for his atrocious teeth. "Aww babes, you're the best!" he cried, flinging his arms around her.
Lydia laughed and hugged him back, her awkwardness momentarily forgotten. "I do what I can." She was surprised when she felt him pull away from her then, and leaned back to see what was the matter.
"Hold on," he said breathily, as if reading her mind. "Gotta sneeze..."
Lydia's heart skipped a beat at this. She was surprised to find herself wanting to lean towards him in hopes of catching some of the spray, feeling it light across her skin ever so delicately... Surprised not so much that she wanted to feel the spray of the sneeze against her flesh, but rather that she was feeling this about -him-, of all people. This was -Beetlejuice-, for god's sake. Granted, he had been her best friend for as long as she cared to remember, but that was it. Wasn't it?
Yet, when she heard his breath hitch in his throat at that crucial moment, she couldn't help herself - she impulsively leaned forward just in time, letting his sneeze spray her across half her face and down her shirt with a mist of spittle.
"Geez, sorry about that, babes," Beetlejuice said, seeming a bit embarrassed for once. He obviously hadn't realized that she'd put herself in the line of fire on purpose, thankfully.
"Don't worry," Lydia said quickly, wiping away the residue with the back of her hand in feigned nonchalance. "Like you said, I can't catch a Neitherworld cold anyway, so..." She trailed off, not trusting herself to say anymore.
He still didn't seem to notice, yawning instead and running a hand through his lank white-blonde hair. "Geez, I'm wiped-out," he sighed, too tired, it seemed, to even illustrate the feeling with one of his constant visual gags. "Think I might try to catch a few winks." He did wink at her then, as if to make up for the lack of magic in his last statement.
Lydia swallowed a lump in her throat, a sudden feeling of reckless bravery overwhelming her. "Mind if I join you?"
He just stared at her, eyes wide in what seemed like confusion.
"I mean," she continued hastily, "I'm just feeling a little tired myself, and since you ARE in my bed..." She forced a smirk, hoping to appear collected, and added, "You have to promise not to sneeze on me, though."
Beetlejuice gave her his most somber expression, raising his right hand in utter seriousness. "I solemnly swear," he said.
"Okay then." She slipped off her shoes and pulled back the blankets, climbing in to bed next to him. Part of her could not believe what she was doing, but at the moment she wasn't listening to that part and pressed on. She cuddled up next to him, resting her head on the pillow next to his.
They lay like this for a while, drifting near the edge of sleep, and to Lydia's surprise what she had thought would be awkward was actually rather cozy. Lying here next to Beetlejuice was actually quite comfortable, and to his credit he hadn't tried to grope her or anything like that - not yet anyway. It wasn't as if she'd never been this close to him - they had hugged countless times, of course - but this was different. She'd never been in -bed- with him before... And her mind as well as another place further south were urging her into uncharted territories perhaps a bit faster than she was ready to go.
Finally she could resist the temptation no longer. Feeling somewhat braver, if only through sexual frustration, she reached beneath the blankets and began shimmying out of her skirt.
Beetlejuice stirred next to her, apparently having drifted off momentarily. "Whatcha doin'?"
"Taking off my skirt," she said matter-of-factly, though in her heart she didn't feel half so brave. "It's too hot under here."
"Oh," he squeaked, and a particularly wicked part of her felt a sadistic thrill at the hint of embarrassed arousal she heard in his voice. Still she pretended there was nothing out of the ordinary, both to tease him and to quiet her own fears which were still present at the back of her mind. Part of her wanted to stop this before it went any further, but again her curiosity made her push forward.
"You're not going to sleep in your clothes, are you?" she asked, all innocence. She couldn't help but smile at the way he blushed, a dusky purple tone coming to his pale cheeks.
"Uh... Well... I was gonna, but..." he stammered.
"Don't be silly, Beetlejuice!" she said, her soul growing braver as his seemed to grow more timid. "You won't be able to sleep comfortably if you try to sleep in your clothes, and you need a good night's rest if you're going to get well."
He gulped, his adam's apple making a quick up-and-down motion in his throat. "Uh... I guess you're right..."
"Of course I am. You've got to get back to abnormal so we can start causing trouble in the Neitherworld again." She reached over and pulled the jacket of his zoot suit down over his shoulders, then sat back as he removed it and dropped it to the floor. He kept his eyes on her, looking uncertain, as he loosened his tie and removed it as well, stopping after having unfastened the cufflinks on his shirt.
"Well?" Lydia said, pretending not to see anything unwholesome about the situation they currently found themselves in. "What are you waiting for?"
Beetlejuice fidgeted, not meeting her eyes. It was the sort of look he got when he'd done something he knew she wouldn't approve of and had been caught after the fact. "Uh... babes... are you sure about this?"
Lydia laughed, a sound halfway between a girl's giggle and a woman's throaty chuckle. "Aw, Beej, don't tell me you're afraid to show me what you've got under there." It was a challenge she knew he couldn't resist, and he didn't disappoint.
"I'm not afraid of anything!" he declared, a statement made somewhat less threatening by his stuffy sinuses. Never the less, he didn't back down, quickly pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it aside. Beneath it his body was soft and white, his pudgy belly garnished with a trail of sparse blonde hairs, his chest smooth and sporting small, purplish nipples.
"There. Doesn't that feel better?" Lydia asked him, still carrying on the charade of innocence.
Beetlejuice shivered slightly, sniffling. "A little cold, but..."
"I'll warm you up," Lydia told him, her voice completely even despite the racing of her pulse. She sidled up next to him and nuzzled her head against his shoulder, draping her arm over him at the same time.
His body was stiff beneath her touch, and she hoped the same went for certain other regions down below. After a moment she steeled herself and said, "You're not sleeping in your trousers, are you?"
"Uh... Well... I-I..."
"Go ahead and lose those too," Lydia said, surprised at the ease at which the words left her lips. "It won't bother me."
Beetlejuice said nothing, instead just reached below the covers, unzipping his trousers and sliding out of them before casting them to the floor with the rest of his attire. She felt his prickly leg brush against hers beneath the blanket and she shivered. "Beetlejuice..."
"Lyds..." he said hoarsely, his voice barely above a whisper, "This is getting a little - "
She interrupted him by pressing a kiss to his lips.
To her surprise his mouth didn't taste nearly so unpleasant as she'd thought it would; she'd feared that he would taste bitter, even vile, but in her lust she'd been unable to stop herself. But the taste, while undeniably bizarre, was not altogether displeasing, and the coldness of his lips combined with the slick tongue that wasted no time snaking into her mouth made her forget any lingering doubts she might have had. She rolled over on top of him, her long legs straddling his hips as her firm ass pressed down on his hard-on.
"Jesus," Beetlejuice breathed when the kiss had finally been broken. "You sure have a hell of a bedside manner."
Ordinarily Lydia would have laughed at that, but at the moment all she could think about was that hard cock pressing against her. She quickly stripped off her shirt and threw it unceremoniously aside, grinning as his eyes widened at the sight of her small but perky tits. "Whoa!" he yelped, his eyes practically bugging out of his head. "When did you get those?"
Lydia smirked, feeling slightly shy but not letting it reach her demeanor. "Do you like what you see?"
Beetlejuice nodded vigorously, his purple tongue lolling out doggishly, twice as long as she knew it to be. He started to reach for her but she stopped him, wagging a finger at him teasingly.
"Ah, ah, ah. Not just yet." She smiled naughtily at the look of frustrated annoyance he gave her. "First you have to do something for me."
He looked confused. "Like what?" he demanded.
Lydia swallowed. She had come this far; there was no way she was going to fink out now. "Sneeze on me."
He blinked. "What?" he said dumbly.
"Sneeze on me," Lydia repeated, her voice low but steady. "Sneeze on my tits."
There was a brief moment of silence, in which she wasn't sure how he would react. Then he suddenly burst out laughing. It wasn't mocking laughter, though. Far from it.
"Oh, babes!" Beetlejuice howled, his eyes alight with iniquitous fires. "Now you're talkin' my language!" He wriggled out from under her slightly, into a seated position, so that his stiff cock was now pressing directly against her mound, protected only by the blanket and her silky panties. "I can't just sneeze on command though," he told her, rather slyly she thought. "You've gotta help me out."
Lydia smiled, slightly nervous, but more curious. "What did you have in mind?"
"Lick my nose a little," he said without hesitation. Clearly he had thought of this before. Or done this before. She couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealously at the thought of someone else enjoying this sort of thing with him before she had, but it hardly mattered now that she was getting the chance.
Slightly uncertain, but none the less eager, Lydia leaned in and gave the tip of his nose an experimental lick. She could taste the salty-musky residue of snot there, and this more than anything urged her on. Feeling more confident, she nuzzled her nose against his, then traced her tongue seductively across the reddened edge of his right nostril.
A shiver wracked his shoulders at this, and just as she leaned back to see if her attentions would be fruitful he sneezed unexpectedly all over her. "EHHSCHUH!"
The sound made her jump, as did the sudden spray of mist across her face, but what she felt even more than the shock was the spread of heat between her thighs, so piercing that a shudder passed through her own frame in response.
"Sorry," Beetlejuice said sheepishly. "That one surprised me."
Lydia laughed. "Don't worry." She flicked her tongue against his nose again, teasingly, making him wince. "Just aim a little lower next time."
Now she traced a lacquered fingernail down the bridge of his nose, feeling a nearly imperceptible shudder run through him. His cock was so stiff beneath her now that it must be painful, but she wanted to draw this out just a bit longer, make it last. Make him want it all the more.
Beetlejuice blinked, his eyes starting to water from the painful tingling in his sinuses. Who knew the girl could be such a tease? But he was loving every minute of it.
God, he needed so badly to sneeze... The urge was so strong that it had superseded the insistency of his cock, but every time the feeling started to well up Lydia would cruelly ease off her attentions, leaving the sneeze tantalizingly just out of reach. It was driving him crazy!
Then, just when he thought he couldn't take another second of this torture, she pulled away... then leaned in and abruptly bit him on the bridge of his nose.
That did it. The first sneeze jerked him forward so suddenly that they nearly bumped heads, the second and third following in close succession, spraying first her face, then her throat, then her tits, and finally her belly and thighs with a heavy mist of spittle and snot. "Ehschuh! EHSCHUH!! HuhESCHUH! EHSCHOO-EHSCHOO! EHHSCHUH!!"
The spell left him slightly dizzy afterwards, but he was quickly roused by the feeling of the girl grinding her hips against his own as she crouched over him. "Oh, Beetlejuice!" Lydia gasped, pressing her cunt desperately against his hard-on through the damnable barrier of the blanket.
"Plenty more where that came from, babes," Beetlejuice growled, his voice sounding even more throaty in his current state than usual. "But what say we get down to business first!" With a snap of his fingers the blanket whipped out from between them, casting itself aside and leaving their groins pressed tight together. Another snap and their undergarments were gone as well, his boxers and her panties disappearing without a trace.
The sight of his pale, rock-hard cock reared up between her thighs in the nest of soft, blonde pubic hair was nearly more than Lydia could handle. She grabbed Beetlejuice by the shoulders, and, with more strength than either of them knew she possessed, pulled him over on top of her, reversing their positions so that she was now flat on her back on the bed with him sprawled atop her. "Fuck me," she said wantonly, in a tone he'd never heard from her before. "Now."
His startled expression quickly morphed into animalistic hunger. "You don't hafta ask me twice, babes," he growled, and, seizing her rounded ivory hips, he plunged his cock into the tight heat of her velvet pussy.
The shock of his violent entrance was painful, both because of his size (for she was still a virgin) and because of the startling coldness of his flesh inside of her, but the pain only seemed to heighten the pleasure somehow, and Lydia found herself moaning her ecstasy aloud in spite of herself. She bit back her cries, wary of her parents overhearing, pushing her hips forward to further impale herself.
Beetlejuice, for his part, was in absolute bliss. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been with a Breather... He'd forgotten just how pleasurable the experience could be. The fact that it was Lydia only made it that much more exciting. He'd entertained fantasies about this sort of thing before, but he never expected anything to actually come of it. Now that it had, though, he wasn't about to let the moment slip away - and he hadn't forgotten about Lydia's request, either.
Leaning in, he ran out his snake-like tongue and flicked it across the girl's rosy nipples, nuzzling her breasts with his dripping nose, smearing streaks of viscous snot across her pale flesh. She moaned her pleasure against his shoulder, nipping at him in her adour, her thighs squeezing around his hips in a vice grip that refused to let go.
"What d'ya want, huh?" Beetlejuice growled, half-teasingly, half-menacingly. "What do you want me to do? Say it."
"Sneeze on me," Lydia moaned through clenched teeth, her voice barely above a whisper. "Sneeze all over me. Soak me with your snot and then lick me clean."
God, just listening to her talk was enough to make him come. He held back though, agonizing as it was, wanting to fulfill her desire first, knowing that his own pleasure would only be multiplied by having her discharge beneath him with his snot splattered across her pretty body.
The sneeze was holding him back, though, buzzing annoyingly at the back of his sinuses, just out of reach. His eyes watered, his teeth ached, but it refused to come to anything. He whimpered in frustration, snuffling against the soft flesh of Lydia's throat, when suddenly he felt her hand against his shoulder.
He paused, leaning back, staring for a moment into those bottomless black eyes, like wells of India ink. There was such deep adoration there that he never suspected what was coming.
Lydia reached up, fisted her fingers in his hair, and, jerking him violently forward, clamped her mouth down over his nose.
Beetlejuice was so shocked at this that he gasped in a sudden breath, snorting some spit up his nose painfully. It burned his nose, bringing a deliciously painful itch to the back of his throat, swelling like a rising wave on a stormy sea. He tried to pull back, feeling the sneeze ebbing tantalizingly closer, but she wouldn't let him; but when he realized what she was after, he didn't resist. He clung to her with all his strength, buried his cock to the hilt inside her flaxen cunt, and sneezed into her mouth.
The eruption of his diseased snot in her mouth nearly coincided with the eruption of his cold semen deep in her belly, trickling down her throat and between her thighs, and she came violently, thrashing against him as she ground her hips bruisingly against his, her body plastered all alongside his until it felt as if every bit of their flesh was touching at once. It seemed to go on for hours, both of them thrashing and then twitching in the throes of passion, finally melting into boneless puddles side by side on the sweat-soaked sheets.
They remained that way for an indeterminable amount of time, curled together and panting, drifting on the edge of sleep in the warm glow of post-orgasmic bliss. After a while Lydia finally spoke up. "Beetlejuice?"
"Yeah babes?"
She paused, her voice timid. "We're still friends, right?"
He nuzzled against her shoulder endearingly. "We're always friends, Lyds."
Lydia smiled, satisfied. "Good." Then: "Does that mean we can do this again?"
Beetlejuice sat up, peering down at her with bright yellow eyes, giving her his most mischievous grin. "You better believe it! Just wait until the next time YOU get sick..."
THE END :)