Reap What We Sow
a Weiss Kreuz story
by Magic Toes 11
Never let it be said I cannot pretend to have sympathy. Sometimes, I can almost remember what it was like to understand--a dim tugging on non-existent heartstrings, a welling of what might have been empathy toward the more pathetic of life out there.
I was very nearly moved at the sight of Subaru upon my doorstep, soaked to the bone from the rain that had moved in earlier that evening, hair matted down to hide his eyes. His shoulders shivered, and his mouth was drawn down wretchedly. He looked so akin to a drowned puppy I could not help but smile.
"Subaru-kun." Placing a hand to his shoulder, I drew him toward the warmth of my living room, but he only managed to take two steps, enough to bring himself over the threshold. "You're absolutely drenched. Don't tell me you walked all this way in the rain?"
"I told you I would come," he murmured hollowly, lifting a slow hand to rub the tip of his nose. "I apologize for being late."
The cheery smile remained fixed upon my face. "Not at all. Come now, let's get you dried off before you catch cold! I wouldn't want to face your sister's wrath if you were to fall ill."
Subaru's shoulders shook again, and I spotted the tears leaking down to his chin. "I--" he began to utter, only to draw in a sharp breath and lift his right hand to shield his mouth. "Hh'issh! Hh'isshu!" He gasped again as he regained his balance, swaying on his feet. "I don't mean--"
"My poor Subaru-kun," I replied as I slipped around him and shut the door. Taking full advantage of the dazed state he'd wrapped himself in, I bent enough to loop my arm beneath his knees and gathered him in my arms. Surprise lit in those seemingly deadened eyes, but Subaru was nonetheless pliable as he drooped his wet head against my shoulder. "I certainly can't send you home while you're in this condition."
He allowed me to carry him to the couch, where I set him against the back corner gently and immediately proceeded to slide next to him, perhaps a little too close for his comfort. Subaru sniffled and swiped gloved hands across his cheeks--a futile effort, as the tears he pushed away were only replaced by a fresh spill from his eyes. It was fascinating to watch Subaru cry, to witness such a spectacle knowing I could never share such immense sorrow. "It doesn't matter," he whispered. "I--I don't know if I can--"
I was so close our legs touched, and our shoulders brushed together as I snatched a handful of tissues from the box on the side table. One hand lifting the damp fringe of bangs from his eyes, I wiped away the tears that pooled at the edges and wet his cheeks. "What happened to you this evening?" I prodded with gentle detachment.
Subaru didn't even lift a hand to push me away. "There was a woman," he whispered, eyes closing tightly, chest shaking with pent-up sobs. "Her daughter had been murdered, and she was prepared to do ... such h-horrible things to..." He paused, his breathing starting to become ragged, taking a moment to compose himself. "I called the little girl to her side, thinking she wouldn't want to see her mother go to such lengths, but she... sh-he..."
"She what...?" I looped an arm across his shoulders, feeling them shaking pitifully.
His breath hitched again, only instead of sobs, Subaru bent double to release another soft volley of sneezes. "Hh'itcch! Hh'isshu! ...Heh... Isshu!" For the first time that evening, he moved of his own accord, snapping damp tissues from my hand and rubbing his nose. "The little girl's soul wanted revenge. And ... I lied," Subaru said with surprising calmness. "I told her mother what I thought she should hear. Not what her daughter wanted her to hear."
I leaned across to grab the tissue box, watching fresh tears spilling down Subaru's cheeks despite the calm tone of voice. "Sometimes lies are necessary if one wishes to maintain peace," I said quietly, the corner of my lips curling upward in a forced smile. "It doesn't make you a bad person, Subaru-kun."
Subaru shivered, turning his head up to face me. His cheeks and the tip of his nose were stained pink, his green eyes blurred with tears. Never before had I seen him in such a poor state--ill and weeping. Pure, wrenching emotion radiated from him in tangible waves--it was as if he felt enough for the two of us combined. "She kept saying how much it hurt--how much pain she was in. And--I couldn't do anything to stop it. I couldn't--Heh'ISSHU!" The sneeze rocked his entire body suddenly, and he just barely turned away in time to catch it in the damp handful of tissues.
Pulling him toward me, I placed a hand atop his eyes, feeling his lashes rake along my palm as they instinctively shut. "The world can be a cold place, Subaru-kun," I said in the most soothing voice I could produce. "It hurts you so much because you're a kind, caring person. The kindest I know."
"Seishiro-san..." His chest continued to hitch, although his tears had begun to calm beneath my hand. He sniffled again, rubbing a gloved finger beneath his nose. I'd never wanted so badly to remove those gloves in all the time we'd spent together, to see the branded marks I'd so efficiently placed upon his hands so many years ago.
"I sometimes want nothing more than to protect you from this world, to ensure that you always remain so gentle. But there are some realities that one must face--that things do not always turn out the way you want them to," I whispered softly, feeling his body relax beneath my touch. "Until that time, I will do all in my power to shield you from what is yet to come."
A thin noise escaped his chest, a soft trickle of tears dampening my palm. "That little girl..." he whispered, trailing off. "All she could tell me was how much she hurt. How... how much she wanted revenge. She was... ah... ht'ssch!" Subaru managed to stifle the sneeze before bringing the ball of damp tissues to his nose and blowing gently. "She was so young, to be filled with such hate," he finished sadly.
"Sometimes we don't all get our happy endings, Subaru-kun." I smiled and held him with warmth that radiated only from my body, not my heart. "But you've had a rough night. Please, get some sleep. I will explain this all to your sister in the morning. Provided, of course, you're not too ill to leave my couch."
"Th-thank you... Seishiro-san." A dim specter of a smile flitted across his lips as he settled against me. Though he said no more, I gave him a gentle nudge toward sleep by my own hand, a soft flow of magic drawing him swiftly to an unconsciousness I was sure his body and his soul needed.
His body was as limp and lifeless as a ragdoll's as I stripped him of his wet jacket and wrapped him in a blanket upon the couch. I brushed away the stray tears with my hand and discarded his used tissues in the bin beside the couch. "Sleep well, Subaru-kun."
He had no other choice but to sleep well--of that I would make sure. Until such a time as I called in our final bet, I would be there to ensure his body remained safe and his soul pure. It was a bet I had to win, if I were to remain true to my clan and to my calling, regardless of that tiny seed of sympathy Subaru had managed to sow in my heart.
A/N: This is my first Tokyo Babylon/X fanfic ever. Be gentle--especially if I've got any terminology or characterization mistakes. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate the Subaru (that's Seishiro's job!). Takes place in volume 4 of the manga. Summary: The angry words of a vengeful child's restless spirit continue to haunt Subaru as he finds himself soaked, broken, and ill upon Seishiro's doorstep.