Detention with Dustbunnies
a Harry Potter story
by jennerferkerr
"For your detention tonight, you will be cleaning the trophy room. No magic allowed," Professor McGonagall smiled grimly at her students. "I expect that it will be quite bad, I don't think it's been done in a few years."
Lily nodded, accepting her consequence, but James looked outraged.
Professor McGonagall surveyed the Gryfinndor. "Is there problem James?"
James shifted uncomfortably as Lily turned on him, looking disgusted. "It's just that I'm allergic to dust, Professor."
Rolling her eyes, McGonagall said, "Nice try Potter, now get to work, I'll be back in three hours to inspect your work. You will not be permitted to leave the room until that time. I'll be taking your wands now, you can have them back when I return."
As McGonagall left, Lily turned on James. "You are so arrogant, trying to get out of detention like that. You would have been perfectly content to get out of this, and let me do it all, wouldn't have you? It's your fault I'm here in the first place! You're so lazy, you'd do anything just to get out of doing work, wouldn't you?"
James grimaced. Why did Lily have to get mad at him for everything he did? "No. I really am allergic to dust," he said simply, afraid to say more, because he was sure that Lily would just take it as arrogance.
Lily rolled her eyes. "Typical James," she said, "You'll never admit you're lying."
Gritting his teeth, James said nothing. Fine then. If that was the way she wanted it. Maybe she'd like him better if he was telling a lie. "Okay, so I lied," he lied.
Lily groaned. "You see what I mean? You're nothing but a arrogant, lying, showoff!"
Okay, so maybe she didn't like liars. Jeez. Now he would have a lot of explaining to do when he started sneezing. Why did he keep getting himself into these messes?
Still fuming, Lily opened the door to the trophy room, and thrust a duster into James' hands. "We'll start with dusting, then we'll polish them," she declared.
"Yes, boss," muttered James, dreading this more every second. He stepped into the room. He could see the dust lying in a thick carpet over the trophies and shields. He watched Lily start dusting, wincing as he saw the amount of dust she was sending into the air. He stood there; watching her, dreading what he knew was to come, until she looked up at him, annoyed.
"Stop standing around and get to work! If you think I'm going to do this by myself, you're crazy."
Already feeling a tickle rising in his nose, James hurriedly crossed the room, and started dusting, as far away from Lily as he could get. He carefully dusted, trying to send as little dust into the air as he possible could. As the tickle grew continually fiercer, James rubbed his nose, trying desperately not to sneeze. It didn't help. He had to sneeze, but he couldn't, not after he had just told Lily he wasn't allergic to dust. She already thought he was a lying scumbag, sneezing would just prove her point.
"What are you doing?!" Lily sounded exasperated.
Surprised, James realized that he had stopped dusting. Caught off guard, He lost control over his nose. "I was... I was just...heh...just stretch...heh...stretching...heh...heh...heh...," Lily looked at him questioningly, as he struggled not to sneeze.
"You only started dusting a few minutes ago, why do you need to stretch?" she asked, looking at him oddly.
Knowing he must look ridiculous with his face contorted in an effort not to sneeze, James blushed, and turned away to keep dusting. "Heh... heh-eshhooo!" a sneeze finally escaped him. He didn't look up, dreading what Lily might say. Luckily, Lily didn't say anything. She probably thought it was just a stray sneeze. Relieved, he set back to work at dusting. Unfortunately, there was now so much dust in the air that he was finding it almost impossible to stop from sneezing again. His eyes were itching like mad, and he could feel them watering.
Soon, he realized that it was hopeless. Bowing to the inevitable, he sneezed again, trying his best to muffle to muffle it in his sleeve. To his dismay, he found that once he had started sneezing, he couldn't seem to stop.
"Heh-ishhh! Huh-eshhooo! Ih-chhhh! Aah-chee!" he doubled over, trying desperately to stop sneezing long enough to breathe. Wishing he had a tissue or handkerchief, he sniffed, trying to clear his nose of the thin mucus that was filling it. He rubbed vigorously at his eyes, trying to get them to stop itching. "Ishhh! Heh- eshhooo! Ih-chhhh!"
Finally, the sneezes slowed, and straitened up again, praying that Lily hadn't noticed, he started dusting again. "Ih-chhhh!"
No such luck.
"James?" Lily's voice seeped into his stuffed up head.
"Wud?" he asked, not looking at her, but grimacing as he heard how congested he sounded.
"You can stop fake sneezing already. You already told me you weren't allergic," she said.
Holding back the urge to punch Lily in the face, James ignored this comment. He could already feel another sneezing fit coming. He rubbed his swollen eyes once more, tying to stop them from watering so he could see what he was doing. Looking around, he saw that the air was thick with dust.
He gulped, remembering McGonagall's words; "I'll be back in three hours to inspect your work. You will not be permitted to leave the room until that time." As far as James could tell, they had only been in there for 15 minutes. He bit his lip, realizing that if he had to stay in this room for over two and a half more hours, he would have more to worry about than sneezing fits. In fact, he thought, his heart sinking, I probably won't last another half hour in here without passing out, or having an asthma attack. He needed to get out of there NOW.
Before he could get to the door however, he was overcome by another stream of violent sneezes. "Ih-chhhh! Heh-eshhooo! Ishhh! ESHHOOO! HEH-ISHHH!"
His sneezes were getting fiercer, and his throat felt raw. He could hardly think straight, dizzy from lack of oxygen. Seeing no other choice, he made his way to the door. "Heh...heh...heh...ESHHOOO!"
In a wave of dizziness, he grasped the doorknob for support. To his dismay, he found that it was locked. "Heh-eshhooo!"
Frantically, desperate for air, he searched for his wand in his robes. It wasn't there. Where was it? His heart sank as he remembered; Professor McGonagall had it.
"What are you doing now?" Lily looked dangerous, "Trying to get out of detention early?" she smirked, "Well, I see Professor McGonagall is one step ahead of you. Get back to work! We still have twelve shelves to dust!"
"I...Heh-eshhooo! Ishhh! IH-CHHHH!" was all James could reply, gasping for breath, still holding tight to the doorknob, his back turned to her. He took a deep, cautious breath, then, sure he wasn't going to sneeze again, he turned around to go back to work.
Lily gasped as she caught sight of his face. Realizing how awful he must look with his swollen eyes, a nd reddened nose, he quickly turned away, and started dusting again. "Heh-eshhooo! Ih-chhhh!" he felt his lungs tighten, and he realized that he was soon going to be in a full-blown asthma attack.
"J-James?" Lily suddenly sounded worried.
"Heh...hello! Ih-chhht!" he drew in a short, gasping, whistling breath, and turned around to look at her.
Her eyes filled with concern, Lily said something, but James didn't hear. His head was spinning, he couldn't breath. He'd had asthma attacks before, and knew the simple counter-charm off by heart. Unfortunately, he didn't have his wand with him, so there was nothing he could do. "Heh-eshhooo!" his sneeze caught him off guard, and he felt himself falling.
At the last second, he felt Lily's arm go gently around his back, stopping him from falling. She carefully let him down on his back on the hard, cold, dusty, stone floor.
"Th...thanks. Heh-ishhh!" he mumbled groggily, struggling to get to his feet again.
Lily looked alarmed. "No! Don't stand up, you'll only pass out again!"
Realizing that she was probably right, James sat against a shelf, with his head in his arms on his lap, he struggled to breathe, drawing in short, wheezy, hitching gasps. "Ih-chhhh! Heh-eshhooo! Ishhh! HEH-ISHHH!" he launched into another sneezing fit, and found himself on the floor again, looking up at Lily, who was looking distressed.
"Are you okay?" she inquired.
"Ih-chhhh! Ya, I thig so," he lied, knowing that he wasn't. Even so, he felt the tightness in his chest subside a bit, and he found himself breathing easier, though he was still sneezing uncontrollably. "Ih-chhht!
Sounding almost hysterical, Lily said, "Why did you say you were lying about being allergic?!!"
Sneezing again, James replied, "I thoughd you would...heh-ishhooo! You would like be better if I...Ih-chhhh...If I was able to adbit to lyig." He broke of with a stream of twelve sharp, painful sneezes.
Lily looked outraged. "So you lied...because you thought I would like you for telling the truth, which actually was a lie?"
James grimaced, realizing how awful it sounded. "Sobething like thad. Ih-chhht!"
Shaking her head, Lily looked torn between angry, sympathetic, and touched. "You're weird, Potter."
"Thank you!" retorted James. "Heh-ishhoo! Heh-eshh! Ih-schht!" another wave of dizziness washed over him. Gasping for breath once more, he said, "Well, if that's all, we should get back to work! Heh-eshhooo! Ichtt! Cchhtt!"
"No way, you're not doing anything else. McGonagall won't let us out her for another two hours! You'll never make it! You're already on the verge of passing out!"
"Ishhh! Heh-eshhooo! Ih-schht!" James doubled over, trying to catch his breath again, before saying, "Well, what do you suggest we do? Heh-ishhh!" his chest was tightening again, and he felt dizzier than ever. "The door is locked, we cad't ged out. We dod't have buch choice, do we? Heh-eshhooo!"
"Well, the last thing we should do is stir up even more dust for you to breathe in! Is there a window in here somewhere?" She looked around. "Hold on, I'll be right back, I'm going to go look back behind those shelves over there for a window to open."
Desperate for some fresh air, James nodded. "Ishhh! Heh-eshhooo! Ih-schht!" The dust was slowly starting to settle down again, but James' allergy just seemed to be getting worse. He hardly had enough time to breathe between sneezes, and he was now so dizzy that he couldn't see anything, he was going to pass out any second now if he didn't get fresh air... "Ih-schhht! Heh-eshhh...
"James! James!"
Forcing himself to open his eyes, James looked up. "Heh-eshhooo! Hi! Ih-schht!" His head spun.
"There's window over there! I can't get it open though! Do you think you can help me get it?"
"Heh-Ishh!" wheezing and gasping for breath, James struggled to his feet again, feeling extremely lightheaded, he sneezed twice, before making his way over to where Lily was gesturing. She stayed close by his side, obviously frightened that he would pass out again, which, James reflected, probably wasn't a bad idea.
Together, Lily and James managed to shove the window open. The effort made James even dizzier than he could ever remember being, but it was worthies for the fresh air, which he gulped greedily.
"Heh-eshhooo!"
James groaned. It had been two hours since they had opened the window, and, although the open window had helped, it hadn't helped a lot. Lily had continued to dust and polish the trophies, refusing to let James help, for which he was grateful. He was still sneezing just as badly as before, but thankfully, his asthma had died down a lot, and he could breath almost normally now, when he wasn't sneezing. His eyes still itched like mad, and he had rubbed them so much that they were raw and painful. He knew he must look ridiculous, with his swollen eyes and red nose, but what could he do? There was a still a lot of dust in the air, and he had breathed in enough already to leave him sneezing for hours. Anyway, Professor McGonagall was due to be there any minute.
"Heh-ishhooo! Ishhh! Heh-ishhoo! Heh-eshh! Ih-schht! Ih-schhht! Heh-eshhh" his throat ached, and his head was pounding. Where was McGonagall?
Lily suddenly appeared at his side. "I'm finished!" she announced, looking tired and worn out.
"Sorry I couldn't help you." James said miserably, sure that she was going to accuse him of being lazy and arrogant again.
"That's fine. It's not your fault. Anyway, you suffered a lot more than I did," she smiled. "You know, you might not be so arrogant after all, James."
James felt his heart swell with joy. That was the first time she had ever called him by his first name. And she didn't think he was arrogant! Things were looking a lot brighter now.
They sat looking into each other's eyes. James felt himself moving in closer, and saw that Lily was doing the same...
"Heh-ishhh! Huh-eshhooo! Ih-chhhh! Aah-chee! Heh-eshhooo! Ishhh! IH-CHHHH!" He turned away, still sneezing, furious with himself.
The door suddenly clicked open. McGonagall walked in. She looked around and said, "Well, you've done a good job, it looks great. I hope you've learned your lesson-" she broke off as she caught sight of the two students sitting by the window.
"Heh-ishhh! Ih-chhht!" James sneezed. Lily was watching him with concern.
When his sneezes finally subsided, James looked up at his professor, his eyes still streaming and swollen, his nose reddened and running. He watched with grim satisfaction, as she looked down at him, alarmed. Serves her right for not trusting me, he thought, sneezing again.
"Potter! What happened?" she asked.
"I'b...Heh-ishhoo! Ih-eshhooo! IH-CHHHH... I'b allergic to dust, Broffessor."
"Hospital wing, Potter," she ordered.
"Heh-eshhooo! Yes Broffessor. HEH-ESHHOOO!"
"Evans! I need you to tell me exactly what happened here, okay?"
James left quickly, not wanting to be present when Lily told her about his passing out and gasping for breath. It was too embarrassing. Oh well, he thought, at least I'll never get another detention cleaning the trophy room, and maybe, just maybe, he had a chance with Lily Evans now... "Heh-eshhooo!"