The Inconveniences of Being Unique
a Buffy the Vampire Slayer story
by Gayle
"What are we doing here again, Luv?" Spike regarded his beautiful companion with a mixture of curiosity and great annoyance.
Drusilla looked sullen as he questioned her again. "I told you, I was bored. I was so bored of London that I wanted to scream. All those society parties are all well and good, but the same old people always came to them and told the same old stories and the same old jokes. Nothing was new anymore." She crossed her arms over her chest, completing the sulky little girl look.
Spike sighed. He knew that she would tire of northern Scotland much quicker than she had of London's society, but why, oh why had she decided to get bored and go somewhere so cold in the middle of January? He HATED cold weather and Dru damn well knew that. London had been bad enough with its fogs and driving rains, but he was used to that kind of weather and living this far north was ten times worse. "Yes, my Pet, I understand that you were bored in England, but why did you want to go HERE, of all places? Why didn't you pick somewhere warm?" He shivered almost imperceptibly.
Drusilla pursed her lips in a patient, forced kind of smile that a mother would give to her two year old child while explaining to him for the twentieth time the reason he wasn't allowed to touch a hot frying pan. "I told you before, Spike Luv; it's so pretty and peaceful here with the snow." She looked down at the sleepy village, where all the houses glowed with soft candlelight and smiled to herself.
"But it's bloody cold, I told you before, Darling." There was a strain on the last word that was seldom heard in Spike's voice while he was talking to his lover. "You know how I feel about being cold."
"And we always do what you want to do and go where you want to go, Spike. You promised that I could pick the next place we went to." She pouted and turned her back on him.
Spike's shoulders slumped very slightly in a rare sign of defeat. "I'm sorry Dru." He pulled her long black hair away from her neck and kissed the nape sensuously. "I really am. Of course, you're right. I did promise, and far may it be from me to go back on my word. Besides, I do always seem to pick our destinations, don't I?" That last bit wasn't exactly true, but he was more than willing to overlook that minor detail if it meant getting this lovely creature to pay attention to him again.
Drusilla turned back to him, all smiles again. "So we can stay?" He nodded sagely and grinned as she wrapped her arms around his waist, squeezing his rear in a teasing, if not sexual way. "And you'll enjoy yourself. You'd be surprised at the way the crisp winter air helps my performance. Besides, I'm not going to let my baby feel the nasty cold. At least, not in a bad way." She licked his cheek and squeezed him again, firmer this time.
Drusilla smiled to herself. It turned her on to no end that her Spike was more frail than other vampires. She hadn't planned it by any means, but she more than welcomed the fluke. The fact that he felt the winter's chill, came down with headaches, had mild spring allergies and, on very rare occasions, fell ill, was a bonus. It made him one of a kind, like a double stamped coin or a hand made doll that had been flawed in it's firing. And heaven knew how much Drusilla loved to have rare and special toys to play with.
Spike looked down at her and grasped her chin lightly between his thumb and forefinger. "What are you thinking about, Luvvie?"
She smiled up at Spike dreamily. "I was thinking about how special you are." Her reply was punctuated by her cutesy giggle as she snaked a leg around his, pulling him close and gripping his rear with a vigor that would have been painful had he been human. "Poor baby, you're shivering." Dru cooed and drew his head down to her breasts. She played her fingers through his soft hair and nipped, or rather bit his ear.
Spike nuzzled her chest and smiled at her love bites. "That feels so... H'TIishhh! Hi'CHHtttt! Heh-Isshhiii!" He sniffled discretely, not wanting to move from his comfortable headrest.
Drusilla laughed merrily and pulled him closer. "Oh!" She sounded delighted. "Is my Spike catching a sniffle?" She truly hoped so, Spike was so *sexy* when he was sniffly. "We'll find you some nice warm human to feed on and wrap you up in blankets, and maybe I can talk the stars into singing to you too."
Spike laughed richly and shook his head. "I think they only sing for you, my Pet. At least, that's been my experience in all the years I've known you." He lifted his head and leered at her. His long, pale fingers trailed down to her chest and stroked her breasts gently. "Let's go into that pretty little farmhouse we got from that farmer. He really seemed more than willing to share his house and blood with us."
Drusilla laughed and played with Spike's exploring fingers. "He was so warm and juicy. His wife tasted funny though. I didn't like her that much."
Spike licked his lips. "She tasted alright to me. Of course, the cold dulled my senses somewhat. But at least she was warm." He led Drusilla into the quaint little house and laughed giddily as he broke a few of the trinkets that the woman had kept so carefully on the shelves. He wrapped his fingers around a small ancient crucifix and squeezed it, turning it to powder. "Where do you want to go, Pet? We have several rooms to choose from."
Drusilla eyed the parlor in a bored way, and then giggled. "Let's do it in the kitchen, Luv, I've always loved doing it in the kitchen. The floors are always so clean."
Spike grinned and nodded, even though a cold kitchen floor was hardly his ideal spot for having sex. "Hah'Isshhhtt! Ishhhhoo! Ishh-cchtt! *Sniff, sniff* This looks like the perfect place, Darling." His hands traveled down her dress and pulled it off, leaving her standing in her thin slip and stockings. "You look good enough to eat... almost literally." He bit up her arm, breaking skin.
Drusilla laughed and leaned forward to kiss him passionately. She freed herself from his grasp, took off his shirt and licked his chest, then replaced her arm in Spike's hand. "You really do know how to treat a girl, don't you Luv?" She frowned as her arm was dropped suddenly, and pulled the appendage toward her breasts as if it were wounded. "What is it? Don't you want to..."
Spike held up a hand in a "hold on" gesture. "Of course I want to sha... shag you... hhheh... when... Hhhehh... when do I ev... heh-Heh- HEhIshhhoo! Hi'sshhh! Heh-eh-Chhtt! Eh-Chhhoo! *sniff, SNIFF* When do I ever not want to shag you? It's this ruddy sniffle. It just got the better of me, that's all. Now, where were we?" The predatory gleam the Dru so loved was back in his eyes and he repossessed her arm with a vengeance. "Right, I remember now. We were right about he... Heh... heh-eh'Isshhhuu! Eh-Shhiii! Keh- ishhcchhtt!"
Dru's shoulders sagged as she pulled her arm out of Spike's hand and picked up her dress. "Yeah, that's right about where we were alright. Come on Luv; let's get you into bed. You're really not well enough for all this at the moment." She tossed him his shirt and led the way to what she guessed to be the farmer's bedroom. Giggling childishly, she sat down on the large bed, all annoyance with Spike and his cold forgotten. "Spike dearest; you don't suppose they've had sex on this bed, do you?"
Spike sat down heavily, deprived of his usual grace and poise. "I'd say that was a pretty safe bet, Poodle. It's what married.... and unmarried couples do after all, is it not?" His cold fingers traced up the bodice of Drusilla's dress in a pleading way.
She scowled and pushed the hand off. "Not now Luvs, you're sick and sick little boys need their rest." She did so love driving him mad.
Her efforts weren't in vain. Spike sighed and flopped down on his back, sniffling in frustration. "Don't you think I'm being punished enough by having this... thing to begin with?" He flat out refused to call it a cold. Vampires didn't catch colds, or get sick at all, for that matter. Well, not any vampires worth their salt anyway. He was, as Drusilla liked to tell him, special. How he'd come to take that backhanded compliment was that he was more *human* than any other vampire. A trait not to be admired, in his opinion.
Dru straddled him and pushed his arms roughly over his head, gripping the wrists firmly. "Oh stow it Spike, do stow it. You aren't being punished by any stretch of the imagination. You know how I feel when you get like this. It makes me all warm and tingly and... Mmmmm..." Her eyes got a far away look to them and she bent over to bite his neck in a very seductive way. "You know I was only holding back for your own good, don't you Luvvie? The last time we had a shag and you were ill, you spent two weeks afterward complaining of how terribly exhausted you were and how achy you felt. I don't want you to feel that way again." She kissed him on the cheek in what she considered a tremendous act of sheer willpower.
Spike groaned to himself and turned his cheek away. "I was ill, Pet. I would have felt that way even if we hadn't had a go that night. I want to have our shag before I feel too sick to care if we do or not."
She shook her head stubbornly. "I know you were sick, Spike, that's why I'm not going to make love to you now. You might have healed faster if I hadn't have worn you out."
Spike made a scoffing noise, which turned into a bad sounding cough. "You didn't wear me out Luv. I hand... han..." his nostrils flared and he quickly brought a hand up to his nose and mouth to catch the sneezes. "Heh-Ishhii! Ishhchht! Ih-chtt'uu! Heh-eh-shhuu! Eh'sshhii! Shhuu!" He sniffled against the back of his hand, digging franticly in the bedside table for something, anything on which to wipe his runny nose. He finally found a small lacey handkerchief in one of the wooden boxes and dragged it under his nose in relief. He then folded it in two and blew softly.
Drusilla giggled and kissed his cheek. "You look so cute when you do that!" She hugged him and guided his aching head down to her soft bosom. "Just rest now Luv and let your Drusilla take care of everything." She started to hum a soft lullaby, causing her chest to vibrate in a pleasant way.
Spike wasn't feeling up to babying just yet, however. "You really don't have to go through all this trouble Dru. It's just a light case of... Heh-Isshhh! Heh-eh-shhtt!! Ih'chhttt! Ah'shhttt!" He caught the sneezes in the feminine handkerchief, which was quickly becoming too damp to be of much use to him. He tossed it down and dug for another one. Thankfully, the wooden boxes' sole function seemed to be holding these nearly useless slips of cloth. One good blow and it was spent. Spike sighed and settled onto Dru's chest again. "Great, I'm already not feeling up to shagging. The window of opportunity has closed, my Pet, and you failed to take advantage of the time." He sounded truly annoyed at this fact.
Drusilla pouted but didn't let go of him. "You needed your rest anyway." She sounded and looked like a small girl whose favorite doll had been taken away for repair after being played with too hard. "The sun will be up in a couple of hours anyway and then I would have wanted to sleep too." She felt Spike relax against her and stop breathing, a sure sign that he was asleep.
"Spi-ike... Spike Luv?" Dru's singsong voice broke through his cold-induced dreams. "Wake up, Darling. You've slept all day and well into the night. I brought you dinner." Drusilla held up and terrified looking young woman for Spike to see.
Sleepy blue eyes fell on the woman and Spike shook his head. "Not hungry just now, Duck," came the sleep-garbled reply. "You have her."
"No, I already ate. This one's all for my poor sick boy. She's young and strong; heal you right up, this one will." Dru shoved the girl toward the bed violently.
Spike sighed. "It shan't help you know. I doubt I could eat a whole one anyway and I'd hate for it to go to waste. Heh- Isshhhii! Isshhh'chht! Heh-ih-shhuu! Eh-cchhtt! Heh'eh-shhuu!" He blew his nose miserably and eyed the girl with mistrust. "Besides, I'm starting to think that farmer's bitch was sick. How do I know she's not sick too?"
Drusilla shook her head impatiently. "Just because you had one little mishap doesn't mean that all the humans here are sick. And look, she has brown hair. You know how much you love feeding off brunettes. There was a lovely redhead, but you always said their blood was too weak for you."
Spike nodded, sitting up slowly. He was feeling very tempted, but didn't want to seem over eager. "That's right Luv; too pale, the red ones are. She does look good." He staggered to his feet and pulled the girl up with him. After biting her and feeding deeply, he shoved the corpse to Drusilla, its neck broken. "I'm done, thanks. But that sure hit the spot." Spike sat back down on the bed and blew his nose. "Are you sure it's night already? Feels like I just got to sleep." He shivered and crawled under the thick comforter.
Drusilla laughed and sat down next to him. "Of course it's night, silly boy. You didn't think that yummy morsel just wandered in off the street, did you?" She stood up to get rid of the corpse but was jerked back down onto the bed. "Hang on, just save it for later. Stay here with me for awhile, will you?"
Drusilla shook her head. "I want to get it cleaned up. I just can't relax until I've done the dishes, so to speak. I'm just going to put her in the barn with the farmer and his wife and I'll be right back."
When Dru had returned Spike was digging though the table drawer again with a cigarette in his mouth. "I need a bloody match." He muttered to no one in particular.
Drusilla took four strides over to the bed and pulled the fag from his lips. "Oh no you don't, Luv. Those things make you cough when you're sick." She tossed it over her shoulder and pulled him close. "Besides, you can't tell me you've forgotten what happened the last time you smoked and you weren't feeling well. You fell asleep and nearly killed us both by catching the blanket on fire." She kissed Spike's temple gently and rested her cheek on his head. "Poor Baby, I'm so mean to you, aren't I?"
Spike was feeling too miserable to disagree. "I can't shag, I can't enjoy my dinner properly, and I can't even smoke. This is getting worse all the time," he moaned and buried his face in her soft breasts. "What next?"
Drusilla smiled gently and started to hum. "You still have me with you, Spike. That's a pretty special thing." She kissed his cheek and nosed his ear.
"Don't you dare start anything you're not going to finish Luv. It's not fair." Spike turned his face from hers and looked at the wall. He body tensed and he searched for one of those next-to- nothing handkerchiefs. "Heh-Isshhii'oo! Ishh-uuu! Huh'eh-Chhtt! Heh-chhuu!" He sniffled and blew his nose. "Bloody hell, didn't that woman believe in using something stronger to blow her nose on?" He dug around for another one and used it forcefully, trying to clear his nose of the congestion that seemed to be trying to get the best of him.
Dru pouted. "I wasn't trying to start anything, I was trying to make you feel better, there's a difference. Oh, and I found these this evening while you were asleep." She held out at least a dozen men's handkerchiefs that were twice as thick and three times larger than the women's ones he'd been using.
Spike took them in annoyance. "Why didn't you give them to me before now?" He blew his nose properly and cleaned himself up.
"Well you didn't ask, now did you?" Drusilla sounded sulky and cross, but then she brightened. "Listen Spike, the stars are singing a special song just for you." She played her fingers through his hair absently, listening to a song that only she could hear.
"My Pet, you know I can't hear those songs that you hear." His voice was short and clipped as he brought a handkerchief to his face and sneezed yet again.
Drusilla nodded in understanding and started to sing with her stars. Her voice was surprisingly controlled and sweet. Spike sighed and felt his body relax under her gentle hand. He fell asleep not entirely sure that he couldn't hear the stars himself after all.
The End
Please be gentle, this is my first BtVS fic. I've only seen up to about half of the second season, so I'm unclear on the details yet. Also, I have no clue when this particular story takes place, probably during the early turn of the last century.